


A Plot Twist

by Rufescent



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - The Bachelorette Fusion, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Fluff and Humor, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Kageyama looks like the villain, M/M, but the real villain is the show's editing, the bachelorette au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23860816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rufescent/pseuds/Rufescent
Summary: There were a lot of things Kageyama regretted — working himself too hard in college and busting his shoulder; staying up late watching a horror movie his roommate sent him on a dare — but there was nothing he regretted more than the absolute trainwreck of his first debut on the reality TV show. A Bachelorette AU. Kagehina.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 38
Kudos: 130





	1. entrances and exits

* * *

_"This week on the Bachelorette..."_

* * *

Kiyoko Shimizu was one of the most stunning Bachelorettes on reality television history. She was beautiful, kind, smart, and an all-around goddess. It was no wonder that she had quite the following of men ready and excited to start a relationship — and hopefully, form a long-lasting, true partnership.

So when Kageyama nervously shuffled out of the limo, fifteen different cameras tracking his every step and his personal microphone pinned inconspicuously on his shirt collar, he immediately forgot what gimmick the producers had shoved onto him. As a twenty-five-year-old physical therapist in training, he had been tasked with something related to his job, something to help the leading lady remember him since his appearance wasn't all that impressive; but for the life of him, he couldn't remember.

Kiyoko smiled patiently, a soft quirk to her lips, and he realized with a start he was staring frozen with the limo door still open. Blushing to the tips of his ears, Kageyama Tobio slowly made his way over in his inexpensive but well-fitted suit. Hopefully, they'd cut out the awkward pause in the final editing, but something in him knew he wasn't going to be that lucky.

Standing next to her, Kageyama felt even more out of place. If he didn't already know that the television life was not for him, this did little to persuade him otherwise.

Dressed in a dark purple dress that shimmered like a cluster of galaxies bursting with new stars, Kiyoko tilted her head, murmuring a quiet greeting. Her eyes looked even bluer up close, magnified behind the lenses of her glasses.

"Hi!" he answered a bit too loudly and then winced, hoping the production crew didn't catch the distressed panic on his face. Twisting his hands together, he relied on what was familiar, and abruptly bowed down at a perfect ninety-degree angle, hiding his face from everyone and their cameras. "It's nice to meet you! Thank you for having me!"

He didn't straighten up until he felt soft pressure against his shoulder. Kiyoko had bent down slightly, peering at him with concern. Her voice was hushed, and though the mics would easily pick up her words, he knew it was meant to be a private conversation for him. "I get nervous very easily too. I think this will be a good experience for the both of us."

Kageyama's shoulders relaxed and the coil strangling him loosened enough for him to manage a shy, wobbly smile.

"I hope we get some more time to talk later tonight," she told him sincerely, and Kageyama realized with a start that was his cue to head into the mansion.

"Nice meeting you," he managed to say again, this time much more genuinely, before he hurriedly turned on his heels, following the stepping stones into the 10,000-square-foot estate. Despite it being late in the evening, the manor was well lit and the path to the living room was easy to find.

When he turned a corner, he was relieved to find that he wasn't the first nor the last contestant to make an appearance. He greeted the other men with a casual wave and carefully sized up his competition and the place he would be living in for however long he managed to stay on the show. The other men watching him did the same, and he tried to not let it bother him.

There was a plethora of couches shoved up against the far wall — already being filled up by handsome men in tailored suits chatting amiably — and a well-stocked kitchen. On the counter were countless dishes gifted by the production staff: there were fun little cucumber rolls (filled with cream cheese and colorful peppers) and entire trays of fruit (including bananas, apples, lemons, and limes). No one was eating anything, either from nerves or some unspoken rule he didn't know about, so Kageyama forewent his rumbling stomach and instead made his way over to his soon-to-be competition.

His legs crossed comfortably in front of him, a man with styled brown hair and an elegant blue-trimmed suit was telling the others around him about how, since he was the first one to meet the Bachelorette, he had hoped he made a good first impression. As he tastefully sipped on a glass of alcohol, looking at the others through thick eyelashes and the thinnest of smug smiles on his face, Kageyama frowned at the familiarity.

Oikawa Tooru, A-list actor and an old volleyball rival way back in high school, was one of the main reasons he had not been weeded out during the difficult application process. Oikawa was charismatic, beautiful, and intelligent. He was also the prime suspect for a good villain and lots and lots of drama.

"Tobio-chan!" he called out sweetly when their eyes met, and Kageyama practically felt the hidden cameras gleefully zoom in on his face. A few other men turned their way curiously, and Kageyama tried not to burrow into his jacket.

A gentle breeze ruffled their hair, the windows having been drawn open so the contestants could listen in on the others' limo introductions and also cool down the place before it was packed with a crowd of thirty nervous, sweaty men. One down side to living in an all-expenses-paid mansion: there was no air conditioning in the house since it was too noisy for the mics and camera equipment.

"Hello, Oikawa-san," Kageyama answered politely, his face casually blank even as his hands trembled by his side.

The heat of the cameras felt like death was stalking him at every turn. If he managed to survive the night and stay on the show for longer than a few hours, the threat wasn't just going to be impressing the leading lady, but also surviving weeks alone with just the men he was supposed to be competing with.

No phone, no internet, no television, no music. They were allowed books, but Kageyama couldn't remember the last time he had read something for fun that wasn't a volleyball magazine or related to his bachelor's degree. It was an environment that invited drama and interpersonal conflict: with no distractions, the men were completely cut off from the outside world and instead forced to focus fully on fighting for Kiyoko and winning the televised competition.

Oikawa leaned to the side, his smile widening at whatever he saw on Kageyama's face, and he pet the spot on the couch next to him with a predatorial glint in his pretty eyes. "Come sit here, Tobio-chan! I haven't seen you since high school!"

What went unsaid but not unheard was the "since you brutally lost to my team." Despite it being years past, the small, hidden-away part of his heart that had looked up to his fellow setter felt a sharp, bitter pang of anger and hurt. The producers knew only a shade of his history with Oikawa, but what they had gleaned from the local newspapers and old interviews from when they were teenagers was enough to know that their relationship was rife with drama and intrigue.

Not wanting to be rude, and still very aware of the cameras and how this is what his friends back home were going to be seeing once the show aired, Kageyama shuffled over to the spot Oikawa was still patting down for him. A small redheaded boy that looked like he was barely out of high school smiled brightly at him from one of the lounge chairs nearby, and unsure of what to do with that, Kageyama frowned back and then quickly ducked his head so he couldn't see the boy's offended response.

"So how're you doing?" the older man was saying, his tone light and playful and suspiciously without malice as he turned his full attention on him, "Still playing—?"

"I'm training to be a physical therapist now," Kageyama quickly interrupted

Oikawa actually blinked in honest surprise and confusion before his mask quickly reformed and he was smiling again. This time, though, Kageyama felt a bit more prepared for his old rival's manipulations. Oikawa didn't know him anymore, not since high school, and he wasn't going to let him get in his head this time.

"And you, Oikawa-san? How are you doing?"

He never got to hear the answer because just then two very loud, and very wild-looking, contestants stumbled into the living room with stretched out grins and a manic light to their eyes. One was short with a tuft of dyed hair parted in the front and the other looked like a delinquent from the streets, despite both of them being very well dressed and actually quite handsome in their vibrant and personalized suits.

"Guys, come quick! Someone just came out on a 'unicorn'!" the short one shouted cheerily, jumping on the balls of his feet in an astounding display of athleticism.

The other man with the shaved head smirked, slinging an arm around the other with a similarly vocal cheer, "Except the horse won't stop walking around so the poor sucker is stuck!"

"We would have helped him," the other continued, "but he glared at us so badly. Our literal-goddess-Kiyoko is trying to help him and it's hilarious!"

As the group of men tumbled over each other to either leave or pull apart the curtains for a better view, Kageyama stood back slightly and just took in the fact that this was real. He was on a reality television dating show with twenty-nine other good-looking men, one of them his high school rival, and all his embarrassing moments were going to be aired for anyone and everyone to see.

The young redhead from before who had smiled at him was pushing at a tall spiky-haired blond with pierced ears and a similarly tall but much more mild-mannered looking man, stuck behind two human trees. Then he bounded on the back of his heel, practically _flying_ as he jumped, and Kageyama startled back in surprise, his jaw dropping. The boy landed a bit precariously, but didn't seem all too bothered. 

The contestant must have felt eyes on him or something, because instead of going in for another insane jump, he turned and stared fever-bright brown eyes at Kageyama. Feeling like maybe this was his chance to correct his terrible first impression from earlier, Kageyama tried to smile like Suga-san had taught him, hoping he had gotten it down a little better than the times he had practiced in front of the mirror this morning.

The redhead stumbled back with wide eyes, curling around the man with the shaved head from before. "What, what do you want? You wanna fight, huh?" he whisper-shouted, half-way raising his fists up in front of him, but still safely tucked behind the other man who was now turning around with a newfound interest.

"S-Shut up!" he yelled and quickly dropped his attempt at a smile, turning bright red in anger and embarrassment and maybe a little hurt. "Dumbass!"

And oh. No. That was not what he had meant to say. Suga was going to kill him if they didn't cut this out.

Rule one that Suga had drilled into his dumb head over and over again: don't make enemies with the other contestants on the first day. That was a surefire way to have a very unfriendly and tense time while waiting for the group and one-on-one dates with the leading lady, assuming he even made it that far.

"What's happening?" the short one asked when he noticed his buddy's waning interest in the Bachelorette coaxing the horse to a stop. His eyes lit up on Kageyama and the taller man suddenly felt the need to hide in the bathroom for the rest of the night.

"Hey! You're Kageyama Tobio, right? I saw your limo exit!"

Oh noooo, his mind shrieked, making a sound not dissimilar to an ambulance siren wailing in the distance, and it was suddenly that much harder to breathe. Kageyama ducked his head to hide his blush, but when the other man crowed in delight, he knew he had failed. At least the redheaded boy wasn't looking as murderous, just annoyed and slightly pissed off.

"Don't worry about it, man," the shaved-headed guy told him, smacking his back in good-natured comradery. "We all get nervous! Especially with someone as gorgeous and perfect and amazing as Kiyoko!"

"I'm Nishinoya Yuu, but you can call me Noya!" the man introduced, jabbing a thumb at himself proudly, "I'm a racecar driver! This is my new bro Tanaka Ryuunosuke," Noya leaned in to stage whisper like it was actually a secret and not something the entire world was going to know soon, "he's private security!"

Feeling whiplashed by all the energy bouncing around him, Kageyama fiddled with his sleeves and murmured, "Um, nice to meet you! I'm Kageyama Tobio!" And he bowed down in respect, only to remember that they already knew his name and he was looking like even more of an idiot.

The two men just laughed kindly, Noya slapping his back with more force than he expected. "And that little jumping frog is Hinata Shouyou! He's a dancer!"

Oh. That explained the boy's flexibility, then. Kageyama scowled at him, and the boy frowned back, his nose scrunching up. Looking away, Kageyama shivered slightly from the draft and then tried to pull his eyes back up, realizing that he should probably try a little harder to not look so antagonistic in front of the cameras.

"Nice to meet you," he ground out, glaring down at the wild orange hair.

Hinata returned his glare with one of his own, and Kageyama noticed Tanaka and Noya exchanging a surprised look from the corner of his eye. "You too," the boy said flatly. And then he turned on his heels and stalked out of the room, a few people watching him go, smirks and knowing looks on their faces.

Kageyama debated actually hiding in the bathroom until Kiyoko was finished with the limo introductions. It would certainly be safer than risking any more disastrous conversations with the other men.

Because he may have just accidentally made himself the villain of the season.

* * *

" _Oh, Tobio-chan?"_ Oikawa said, staring into the confession camera with big brown eyes that shined like melted chocolate. His hair was artfully done, curled in little tufts that gave him a floaty, stylish look. " _I knew him in high school when our volleyball teams played against each other. He was a terrible sore loser, to be honest."_

With a casual shrug, the actor smiled sharply. " _I hope he takes his loss in this new challenge with better dignity."_

Kageyama may or may not have thrown his remote at the television screen, barely missing the display by more than an inch. Suga-san, curled up in his boyfriend's lap with a giant bowl of popcorn in front of him, only laughed a little too loudly.

"Oh my god, Kageyama-kun, what did I tell you?" he giggled, having way too much fun at the younger man's expense.

"I hope you choke on your popcorn and die," he grumbled into the pillow he was hiding behind.

"Hey!" Daichi interjected, pulling the silver-haired counselor closer against his chest. "No wishing misfortune on my boyfriend!"

He was going to respond, but the episode was continuing, and Kageyama, who'd _lived_ it and knew how everything turned out, shoved his face back into the cushion and hoped against hope that he could drown out the dramatic music and heavily edited confessions.

* * *

He did not, in fact, hide in the bathroom. Instead he just sort of hovered by the food like a broody shadow. New men came in, greeting each other politely, and Kageyama tried to listen in, tried to remember the names; but there were too many people, and even on a good day, he knew he could barely remember one person's name correctly.

Soon enough, all thirty men were packed into the living room. Producers and cameramen and -women tucked themselves into the corner, and then the woman of the hour was walking into the room following the _click-clack_ of her heels. She wasn't smiling, but her face was relaxed, eyes lit up behind her frames, and there was a giddy excitement shining brightly around her like an aura of starlight.

Kageyama felt himself straighten, saw the other contestants do the same. In the crowd of men, Hinata smiled the brightest, the loudest, and Kageyama had a hard time looking away from the dancer. It was _infuriating_.

"Thank you for coming," she started, tucking a wayward curl behind her ear and blushing cutely. She looked down, a little unsure of herself, before forcing eye contact with the crowd. Kageyama carefully kept his face blank, knowing now that his smiles still looked like a serial killer planning a murder. Her gaze swept over them, lingering on a few men more than others, and then she was smiling like the sun coming out of rain clouds, a rainbow in her eyes.

"I appreciate everyone putting themselves out there for this journey with me. This isn't something many of us are used to: the cameras, the lights, the crowds. But I'm glad you all decided to try it out, and I hope we get to know each other better over the course of the next few weeks." She took a breath like she was resurfacing from a long swim, like she wasn't used to speaking so much, and continued on a slightly quieter note, "Please raise your glass to the beginning of a new and exciting journey to find true love."

She held up her champagne flute in toast and the other men raised theirs back at her.

Let the games begin, Kageyama thought cynically, as Oikawa-san skillfully appeared by the model's side in one fluid, natural motion. His smile looked humble and shy, but he was such a good actor Kageyama doubted it was real.

"May I whisk you away for a moment?"

Kiyoko-san nodded and then the two were gone.

Tanaka and Noya growled and Kageyama practically jumped out of his skin, swallowing down an unattractive yelp. The two men surrounded him on both sides, and he wondered worriedly if he had not only made an enemy out of Hinata but also the two rambunctious bachelors as well.

"Who does that pretty boy think he is?" Tanaka grumbled, crossing his arms and looking over at Kageyama. Noya was nodding his head in the ultimate form of support.

"Um, yeah," Kageyama tried, hoping he sounded agreeable instead of awkward and stupid.

"You can really tell who the villain will be by who first steals the Bachelorette," Noya complained dramatically, eyeing the door the two had left with lasers in his eyes.

That was some relief, actually. Kageyama didn't want to be the villain. Maybe Oikawa would be able to keep that status, after all.

"I hope he doesn't get the first impression rose," Tanaka continued with a mean face, eyeing the silver platter with the single rose presented tastefully on a knee-length table in the center of the room for the men the ogle at. Only one person in the room can get the first impression rose — which, in turn, ensures his position on the show for at least one more night. That lucky person isn't forced to endure the rose ceremony, where names are called out one after the other to see who gets to stay or go.

As the two complained, munching on some cucumber rolls and chips, Kageyama felt an odd sort of kinsmanship despite feeling more and more out of place in the conversation. Even though they were loud and excitable and slightly grating on his ears, both men were trying to include him and make sure he wasn't left alone to brood and be moody on his lonesome.

"I'm going to go steal her away!" one of them said. "Wish me luck!"

"You got this, bro!" the other cheered.

Kageyama mumbled a sincere, "good luck" in the general direction of their shoes.

The night was getting longer and longer, and exhaustion was creeping up on him. Other contestants came in and out in a blur. Kageyama only paid attention to when Hinata tried for his private conversation with the leading lady. He bounced up with too much energy for this late into the night, and practically ran out of the room.

Kageyama vindictively hoped it went terribly.

In what felt like forever, but was probably more like ten minutes later, the small race car driver jumped up and slapped his back, nearly bowling him over with his enthusiasm. "Go get her, Kageyama!"

In the end, it was actually very easy to find Kiyoko. She was speaking with a kind-looking man with innocent eyes. He might have been the elementary school teacher, Kageyama wasn't sure.

"Mind if I, um, steal her for a minute?" he asked, repeating what Noya had told him to say. There was an art to rudely interrupting other people's conversations, apparently. After the other contestant left, Kageyama awkwardly shuffled in place before Kiyoko took pity on him and motioned for him to sit next to her on the bench.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember your name," she told him honestly but not unkindly.

Oh. Had he even told her his name? He couldn't remember, it had happened so fast. One minute he was making a fool of himself in front of her, and then the next he was in the living room making a fool of himself in front of the men.

"It's Kageyama Tobio," he breathed out, fumbling with his hands in his lap. "Uh, thank you for what you said earlier, about being nervous. I'm not good with talking to people, so it was a relief to not feel so alone."

He hesitantly sought out her eyes and felt that familiar calmness settle over him with the understanding in her gaze. "Thank you," he finished, not much for words anyway.

"My pleasure." She smiled gently, "So tell me a bit about yourself?"

* * *

"Boooooo!"

Kageyama sighed in relief as Suga simultaneously groaned in disappointment, throwing some popcorn at the TV screen and booing loudly over the host's narration. The production crew had edited out his entire private conversation from the final cut. He was both relieved that the entire world wasn't going to know his Tragic Backstory™ and a bit insulted he wasn't good enough to get more than one minute of screen time that made him look like a normal contestant.

"Better luck next time?" Daichi tried cautiously.

He shrugged.

On the screen, Hinata was moving his hands excitedly as he talked about his history of dancing, even going so far as to take Kiyoko's hand and lead them into an impromptu waltz. The background music was playful and romantic, focused on Hinata's blinding grin and Kiyoko's melodious laugh as they looked into each other's eyes.

Kageyama scowled into his lap. They had probably had to cut out Hinata tripping over his own feet.

* * *

To no one's surprise but many men's disappointment, Oikawa got the first impression rose. They shared a kiss, but Kageyama couldn't find it in himself to get frustrated at the loss of the first rose, he just felt frayed. He wanted the day to end.

Unfortunately, despite how quick the rose ceremony always looked on television, it actually took a good few hours to fully complete. All thirty men were forced to stand in three rows, facing Kiyoko and the platter of thornless roses.

She looked radiant, the orange glow from the lanterns softening the harsh, anxious atmosphere from the gathered men.

The first few names were long and tiresome and Kageyama didn't pay any attention until she called out a "Tanaka Ryuunosuke" and "Nishinoya Yuu."

The two confidently sauntered over to collect their prize one by one. Kageyama was happy for them, even if he felt like he was going to fall asleep on his feet.

After each name was called, Kiyoko had to be whisked away so her producers could supply her with the pictures and names of all the men. Kageyama could relate: _no one_ could remember thirty guys, especially after meeting each one for only a few minutes one after another. Not to mention the time it took for all fifteen cameras to reset after each lucky contestant picked up a rose.

Barely keeping his eyes open and trying to swallow down the fiftieth yawn, Kageyama was unprepared for the sharp sting of bony elbow digging into his ribs. Blinking dumbly, he stared back at a tuft of wild orange hair and vibrant brown eyes glowing gold from the sun rising behind them. Another person coughed delicately somewhere to his left and he jumped.

"Rose," Hinata mouthed, his eyebrows scrunched together. Kageyama mechanically turned to see Kiyoko stoically holding out the red flower for him.

Heat rushed to his face, burning. Despite wanting to melt into the floor, he managed to stumble his way over and collect the symbol of his success. "Thank you," he told her quietly, holding the rose to his chest like a lifeline.

Her gaze flickered for less than half a second, before she met his eyes again and smiled sweetly. "I hope you stick around a bit longer." She gently rested her hand on top of his, taking the rose back so she could pin it to his lapel like she had done for the other men. "Will you accept this rose, Tobio-kun?"

He nodded, trying to fight down a blush when he realized he was doing things all out of order. "Yes, of course, thank you."

He walked back over to his spot, keeping his head down so he didn't have to see Oikawa's stupid smirk. He brushed past Hinata on accident, and he moved to do... something, maybe apologize, but those wide eyes were watching him so fiercely he forgot the words.

First to look away loses, he thought competitively, accepting this new challenge, and knew the dancer was thinking the same thing.

It took Tanaka slapping him upside the head for him to finally pull his eyes away. From his peripheral, he noticed Noya doing the same for Hinata.

In the end, seven men were sent home. The rest of the contestants headed into the mansion to unpack their two bags of luggage (or in Oikawa's case, the five suitcases he'd smuggled in against regulations).

His own room was larger than he expected, and his view from the wall-length windows overlooked the backyard pool. Knowing he'd fall asleep in a matter of minutes, Kageyama twisted the crank, opening the windows a crack for some fresh air.

Outside, he heard a crow caw out. He peered through the curtains and watched the black bird take to the pink and purple sky, a feather falling gently to the ground.

Unsure about what tomorrow would bring, Kageyama changed into his pajamas and set his shoes by the base of his bed, not bothering to fully unpack. He was asleep as soon as he hit the pillow.

_._

_tbc_

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So full disclosure, I've only seen, like, two episodes of the Bachelor and none of the Bachelorette (I did my research though, don't worry, but also, maybe worry a little because it did include crack videos on YouTube). 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Not much Kagehina yet BUT JUST YOU WAIT. I wanted to lay out the context first, get used to the setting, and then I could have the parts where the guys just chill and hang out since there's no TV or internet or phones and if that's not the start of a horror story, what is? No wonder some people go crazy by the end: I would too!


	2. wake up, fall out of bed

* * *

" _Recently on the Bachelorette…"_

* * *

Kageyama awoke with cotton in his mouth and a painful headache sprouting behind his eyes. It was hot and humid, his sheets were tangled up around his ankles and halfway off the bed, and the midmorning sunlight that streamed in through the crack in the blinds burned his eyes.

"Ugh, I think I drank too much," someone muttered in a gruff grumble. There was the sound of someone shifting above him, trying to get comfortable again. "Close the curtains, will yah?"

Kageyama stared uncomprehendingly at the wooden planks above his bed. He was in a _bunk bed_. All he could really remember from last night was being so exhausted that he had almost fallen asleep on his feet at the rose ceremony. And now he had a new bunkmate.

He turned to his side. It felt weird not to check his phone for the time or those long, forwarded-to-twenty-people emails from work. One quick look around showed four suitcases neatly shuffled off to the side of the room, two of them his own, but there was no clock to speak of.

A little freaked out by the situation, Kageyama crawled out of bed. He pulled at the bottom of his pajama top self-consciously even though his new roommate was curled up protectively under a layer of blankets and not paying him any attention. Making his way to the window, he dutifully closed the curtains, and though it only removed about one-third of the light, his roommate poked his head out curiously.

Kageyama squinted, trying to remember the name and coming up blank. Terumisha? Ehhh, it was best not to risk it. "Good morning," he offered cordially instead. Or was it afternoon?

"Mhhh," the other man said, turning on his back and facing away from him, burrowing into his sheets with a grunt.

Instead of feeling slighted, Kageyama appreciated the chance it allowed for him to quickly get dressed. He was used to changing in front of other people — volleyball locker rooms were the antithesis of private, after all — but everything was too new and different that even the appearance of privacy was a blessing right now.

Not sure about what today entailed, Kageyama settled on comfort instead of fashion: a black t-shirt with the words "SETTER SOUL" in bold white kanji, a pair of skinny jeans, and some fuzzy socks Suga had given him for good luck. They had white volleyballs whizzing around his ankles, and it made Kageyama force down an uneven smile at the reminder of his kind friend.

He tip-toed out of the room, carefully closing the door behind him with a soft _click_. He stood there for a moment, gathering his thoughts, trying to remember the fastest way to the kitchen.

"Oh, Kageyama-kun!"

He slowly turned around to see a small blonde woman with a lanyard around her neck holding out a clip-on microphone. "I have your mic here," she told him, waiting for him to nod before reaching over and pinning it effortlessly to his shirt.

Another staff member behind the blonde arched a brow, his eyes skimming up and down and then away, and Kageyama frowned, peering through his eyelashes at his old shirt and worn out socks. Oh. Was he not allowed to be casual, like, ever? Shit, he had only packed a handful of nice outfits for the dates and rose ceremonies; most of it was exercise clothes or day-in casuals for the time he was stuck inside the mansion.

Oh well. At least Kiyoko (and soon the world) would be getting to know the "real" him.

Shrugging, Kageyama nodded respectfully to the tiny boom operator, glowered at the judgemental one, and then headed very purposefully away from them.

And promptly tumbled right into another person, knocking the other man to the ground with a surprised cry. Kageyama managed to catch himself before his face kissed the floor, but in turn, he found himself looking down at a fluff of bright orange hair and big brown eyes caged between his arms. Hinata Shouyou pouted up at him, his eyebrows narrowed into a glare even as his face was turning the brightest shade of pink Kageyama had ever seen. Cute, he thought unbidden, and then wanted to die on the spot.

"Sorry," he muttered quickly, trying to untangle himself. Hinata blinked himself back into awareness and then was also twisting and shifting in a panic. It made it that much harder to get back up, and Kageyama soon found himself tangled up even worse than before. It was like they were wrestling, but badly. "Oi! Stop moving, dumbass! I'm trying to get off of you!"

"You're the dumbass, Bakageyama!" was the high-pitched counter argument.

"WHAT?"

"You heard me!" the moron shouted, finally deciding to just shimmy backwards on his butt, abandoning any form of decorum. Kageyama watched him, glaring hotly. Now safely free, Hinata bounced up again, grimaced in his general direction without meeting his eyes, and dramatically marched away like a child.

"What the f—" he heard behind him, but Kageyama didn't care to stick around.

His head hurt, he was hungry, and now he was also pissed off. His face probably looked scary, because a few men hanging out in the hallway jumped out of his way. Noya-san might have said something to him, one of the few unbothered by his black aura, but Kageyama didn't pay him any attention, focused single-mindedly on getting breakfast.

"Tobio-chan!"

Kageyama spun on his heel, abandoning that route for another hallway. There had to be a way to get food without talking to another contestant.

"Rude," the man whined loudly, but there weren't any stomping feet behind him, so he was safe for now.

"You're not having a mental breakdown on the first morning, are you?" a stranger asked, peering up at him, uncrossing his arms, and pushing off the wall to give the broody physical therapist in training his full attention. He matched his steps, even though Kageyama had sped up in an attempt to avoid talking.

Kageyama vaguely remembered him, but couldn't say where.

The man seemed to recognize his struggle and smiled timidly, easily keeping pace. "I'm Yahaba Shigeru." When there was no response, he tried again, "the elementary school teacher from Miyagi?"

He had interrupted the man's chat with Kiyoko last night. Was this about that?

"Look, just take it slow today, okay?" It was sound advice, and Kageyama wanted to take it, but he was tired of being around so many people and hungry from not eating since a small breakfast yesterday from before he had flown over... and oh maybe he _was_ having a mental breakdown already. That wasn't a good sign.

The man rested a hand on his shoulder, pulling them to a stop. "Hey, relax. We might be competitors, but no one wants you to have a panic attack. There are psychologists on call if you need to talk to someone."

Right, he needed to get his head on right. "I just. Tired; food," he said, making absolutely no sense. Ahhh. Someone help him.

Luckily, Yahaba managed to understand, even if he looked even more confused and concerned than before. "Uh, yeah, the kitchen is down the stairs to your left. Just around the corner."

"Thank you!" He bowed down in a quick nod and speed-walked in the given direction.

Food, he needed food. Then he could handle everything else.

Luckily, he didn't run into anyone else on his way there. Most of the other men in the house were nursing hangovers after drinking too much after the rose ceremony, and it was basically an empty dining room. Some time later, Noya-san and Tanaka-san came in laughing loudly and exchanging boisterous claps on the shoulder just as Kageyama was taking his plate of scrambled eggs and a spinach-kale smoothie to the table.

"That looks good," the race car driver noted, smiling widely and squinting up at him. "I want that, Ryuu!" he shouted.

Tanaka sent a wide-eyed look over Noya's head. "Rule one," he told the taller man seriously, and Kageyama straightened up at the attention, "don't _ever_ let Noya cook. He'll set the house on fire. I'm serious, bro."

"Bro, why'd you do me dirty like that?" Noya complained, but changed directions from the frying pan to the fridge. He rummaged through the varied and plentiful supply of alcoholic drinks — from ciders to ale to champagne to wine — before ultimately deciding on milk and a box of off-brand cereal.

Kageyama, still standing with his plate and drink in hand, watched as the smaller contestant gave his given breakfast choice the ugliest look he could manage, like it was the ultimate form of betrayal.

"I can make you some eggs?" Kageyama said, a bit out of sorts. Tanaka turned to him like he had just declared himself a millionaire and was planning on donating all of his money to a charity of his choosing.

"Tobio-chan's making breakfast?" Oikawa interrupted, smiling, his eyes crinkling behind a pair of designer eyeglasses. He sent Kageyama a smirk as he paraded over to the couches, raising a hand in thanks. "I'll have mine sunny side up, please and thanks!"

Hinata poked his head in warily, like he was scouting out the area first, and Kageyama stared back, nonplussed.

"Um, can I have some too, please?" the smaller man asked, pouting down at his feet. "I suck at making food." He raised his head, staring at Kageyama and imploring him to help with big, innocent eyes. The taller man turned his back on him, meaning to set his food and cup down, but then like magic, the redhead was _right in front of him_ , blocking his way and standing way too close for comfort.

"No, wait, listen to me for a second, okay? One time, I was trying to make pancakes for my sister Natsu, and I flipped the entire pancake onto the ceiling fan and it had little chocolate pieces that exploded all over."

Tanaka burst out laughing behind him, and Kagayama couldn't stop staring in blank wonder. Hinata took his look as one of disinterest and continued, faster and more desperate, " _And_ one time I tried to make rice but didn't know how it was cooked—"

"There are directions on the bag," Oikawa muttered under his breath but also way too amused by the entire situation.

"—so I put the rice in water and the water kept evaporating or something so I just added more water and then it came out to be a rice porridge and it was _gross_ , Kageyama-kun! Gross! _Please_!"

"Okay, okay," Kagayama acquiesced, roughly shoving Hinata away from him. "I'll make everyone breakfast, just get away from me."

"Ohhh, thank you!" Hinata squealed, ignoring Kageyama's one stipulation and glomping onto him in a tight hug, nearly knocking over his scrambled eggs. "Thank you!"

"Geroff!" he hissed, making a scary face, but instead of cowering and hiding behind Tanaka, Hinata just laughed brightly. Kageyama frowned, finally able to put his breakfast down. The short dancer was like that one children's story: if you give a mouse a cookie; Kageyama couldn't exactly remember how it went down, but he knew Hinata was the mouse.

After making everyone their personal breakfast (even stupid Oikawa's stupid eggs), Kageyama sat himself down with the other contestants. It was all so _normal,_ the men chatting peacefully as they munched on some bacon and eggs. It was normal and nice, and Kageyama finally felt like his headache was easing up, like he could breathe normally.

As he settled in his chair, Oikawa-san looked over at him, no disgust on his face, just a quiet sort of thoughtfulness, and continued like he had never paused in his story, "And I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens."

"Pfft, aliens don't exist," another contestant said as he passed through the kitchen, sipping on a bottle of cider even though it was probably only around noon.

Yahaba, who had joined them near the end of the conversation, overdramatically put an arm in front of Oikawa, pretending to hold him back. "Uh oh. If I were you, I'd scatter. I don't know how long I'll be able to hold him off."

"Aliens are totally real!" Oikawa answered, outraged, with no trace of artificiality for the hidden cameras. He leaned forward, "Listen here, punk, we live in a galaxy with over 200 billion stars and many probably have at least one exoplanet. Now take that and multiply it by the 100 billion _galaxies_ in the universe, and you're telling me aliens don't exist?"

As interesting as this was (it actually was really interesting, Kageyama had never seen this side of his rival before), someone interrupted the conversation with a high shout and lots of hand waving.

"We're getting our first date card!" one of the men announced proudly, nodding to someone behind him.

The contestants watched as the reality TV show host walked into the dining room, friendly and chipper. "Good job surviving night one, fellas. We're just going to wait on the stragglers to finish getting mic'd up and then I'll hand over Kiyoko's date card."

Oh yeah. Kageyama had almost forgotten why he was here, stuck in a mansion with twenty-three other men. They were competitors for Kiyoko Shimizu's love and partnership. The men straightened up, the playfulness from before now tenser with game-ready anticipation.

Bring it on.

* * *

The date card, written in loopy cursive, only said: " _Let's get down and dirty,_ " and was for eight contestants: Oikawa, Yahaba, Noya, Tanaka, Terushima, and three others he couldn't remember.

"There's no way Kiyoko wrote that," Suga noted through a bite of ramen noodles as an ad for toothpaste played in the background. Daichi wasn't joining them tonight, busy with work, so it was just the two of them. "What did it mean anyway? Gimme the spoilers."

"It was mud wrestling," Kageyama explained, not looking up from his notes about one of his client's worsening knee problems. "Almost no one enjoyed it. Oikawa-san spent three hours redoing his hair as soon as he got back." Suga snorted but Kageyama turned to him, dead-serious. "We timed him."

A text lit up his phone and, distracted, he looked over only to frown.

 _**Unknown Number** _ _: Hey! Want to hang tonight? I'm here for a show and bored? Text me back, idio_ _t!_ _୧_ _(•̀ᗝ•́)_ _૭ ୧_ _(⇀‸↼‶)_ _૭_

Kageyama debated saying " _wrong number"_ for the third time, but instead decided to just delete the message off of his phone. The person would eventually realize he or she wasn't talking to a friend and would leave him alone.

On the screen, the show finished with its ad break. Oikawa was looking pissy and uncomfortable and then Noya tossed a handful of mud at his face and the crowd exploded in "ohhhh's" and "AHHHHH's."

Suga wheezed out a laugh. "Oh my god, I love that little race car driver, he's wild! What a group!"

He didn't know the half of it.

* * *

Most of the first day was spent exploring the mansion and freshening up for the group date the next day. After they read out the date card and speculated over its meaning, the group dispersed to go about their business. A few contestants monopolized the couch and exchanged brief pleasantries and shallow get-to-know-you's with free flowing alcoholic drinks in their hands. It was a good time to size up the competition; the rest of the men, however, mostly used the time to unpack and settle in.

Kageyama officially met his roommate: a spiky-haired blond with a tongue piercing and a carefree attitude named Terushima Yuji. They were polite, but that was about it. Kageyama tended to avoid him more often than not.

When night rolled around, Kageyama felt obligated to have at least one drink with the other contestants (no one else bowed out, so he didn't want to be _that guy_ ). He was one of the last to make his way outside, most of the other men were already dipping their toes in the pool or hanging out in a wide circle near the beach chairs.

He was still wearing his outfit from that morning, and even with the dim lighting, a few men gave his socks an amused glance, the white fabric drawing attention he otherwise wouldn't have gotten in the daytime. He fiddled with the strings on his hoodie, focused on untangling the threads instead of facing the social limelight. But if Suga were here, he'd tell him to go make friends. If he thought about it practically, he might even be on the next group date (or, god-forbid, the one-on-one), so it _was_ best to get some allies.

"Oikawa-san," Kageyama started quietly, shuffling in place.

Oikawa scowled down at him, interrupting whatever Kageyama was trying to say with a petty, "NOPE! Stupid! You're stupid! Go away!" He stuck out his tongue, and pulled down the bottom of an eyelid. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and it made the brown of his eyes, reflecting the blue light from the pool, look even colder.

Kageyama didn't know why he expected anything different. He frowned, but obediently left to find better conversation elsewhere. In the end, he gave a few one-word answers to the pity-variety questions from Noya and Tanaka's group. Mostly, he just listened to them talk about their life before they had applied to be on the reality show.

He never noticed how Hinata kept sneaking glances before turning away resolutely, only to repeat the process a few minutes later.

After a few drinks, he called it quits, claiming he was tired. Noya and Tanaka wished him a good night, the others a bit too wrapped up in their conversation on ex-girlfriends to even notice him leaving.

He'd have better luck tomorrow, he told himself, trying to keep positive. He was asleep before his roommate returned.

The next day, the mansion was quieter. Since the eight men on the group date had an early start, the atmosphere was a bit more subdued as some of the men fantasized about what they were missing out on. A few went over to the confession camera to complain and expel their worries about not having enough time to get to know the leading lady before the rose ceremony at the end of the week.

Kageyama had been in the habit of keeping to himself, but the silence was eating at his calm and the threat of being ostracized and abandoned on a potential group date set his mind spinning and plunging in a downward spiral. So here he was, standing outside Hinata's door holding a deck of cards and scowling at his feet.

He couldn't bring himself to knock.

"Are you going to come in or..?" someone asked him, and Kageyama looked down over his shoulder to see a familiar fluff of orange hair and bright eyes staring at him, amused.

Hinata wasn't even _in_ his room. Oh god, how long had the other man watched him dawdle? Why was this his life?

"Uh," he said, facing the other man, whose tips of his curly hair barely even reached his shoulders. Hinata was so _short_ , it was actually amazing. "Um, cards?" he said, shaking his head to get back on track. He shoved the playing deck in the other man's general direction, hoping his face looked friendly and hopeful and not freaked out and panicky. He swallowed and tried again, "Do you want to play? Cards, that is? With me?"

"Sure?" Hinata said, arching an eyebrow and looking a bit more wary now. But he had said yes, so that was a good thing! Right?

Maybe he should have asked one of the other guys. He didn't exactly have the best track record with the dancer. But Hinata seemed to like everyone here, he was literal sunshine and daisies and no one had a bad thing to say about him, even Oikawa, who was the ultimate drama queen.

"What games do you know?" Hinata asked, pulling his door wide open for Kageyama. He didn't wait for the taller man to come inside, instead plopping himself down on the floor and patting the space next to him with a friendly enough smile. "I only know War."

Oh. Kageyama hadn't exactly thought this through very well. The only card games he knew were the ones Suga and Daichi made up as they went along. He vaguely knew how to play War. It was simple enough.

It was indeed simple enough. Kageyama proceeded to _dominate_ the entire five games they played. And he discovered Hinata had a competitive streak to rival his own, which was saying something.

After losing for the sixth time, Hinata slowly set the shuffled cards on the floor. Kageyama, still smiling from his victory, started to wilt at the seriousness on the other contestant's face. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea for making a new friend. Who wanted to keep losing over and over again? Maybe he should have thrown a few games in the name of their budding friendship? Except that went against every moral code he had, so that was out of the question anyway.

"I challenge you to a race!" Hinata declared, standing up and putting his hands on his hips, staring down at him (for once in his life).

Kageyama couldn't refuse.

They had to stop after the tenth run, due to the sun dipping low into the horizon and the lack of good lighting around the entire perimeter of the mansion. Kageyama swallowed down a lungful of air, hunching over his knees as he heard Hinata do the same next to him.

With a breathy sigh, the dancer flopped onto the grass, splayed out and breathing heavily. Kageyama, heaving and red in the face, plopped on his butt next to him, staring vacantly at the treeline.

"I won, that one," he said, between breaths. "We're five-five now."

Hinata slowly turned to him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. His face was offended. "Only because you got that second head start!"

Kageyama ducked his face to hide his grin, missing Hinata's own fond smile.

"Five-five," he said again.

"Next time," Hinata returned.

"Next time," Kageyama agreed.

They managed to snag two of the four showers just in time, because when Kageyama was getting out, rubbing a towel over his hair and fitted snugly in an oversized but sinfully soft pajama set, in trooped eight very dirty, stinky, sweaty men. Oikawa looked ready to murder someone. Noya looked like he was having the time of his life.

Mud wrestling. Kageyama wondered what was in store for them for the next few dates.

_._

_tbc_

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn't mislead anyone into thinking this was going to be a serious story, lol. Thanks for reading!


	3. let's go kill some zombies!

* * *

" _Last night, on the Bachelorette…"_

* * *

The clock in the kitchen read _5:27_ in unblinking digital numbers, glowing red in an otherwise pitch-black room. Kageyama smothered his second yawn this morning, foregoing his pre-running breakfast for a simple nutrition bar, and pathetically fumbled around in the dark for the trashcan.

The one downside to living in a furnished mansion (other than no AC, only four bathrooms for over twenty men, and no ability to leave, of course) was the unfortunate absence of a gym or any other form of exercise equipment.

Hence why he was dressed in his usual workout clothes: black running pants, orange shorts, and a blue hoodie with white long-sleeves. Despite loudly tripping over his feet and knocking into the edge of tables and the softer arms of couches multiple times, Kageyama successfully made his way to the front door with none the wiser.

After the eight contestants had returned last night, the group discovered the one-on-one date card had been laying unattended on the coffee table for the better part of the afternoon. They had assembled by the couches, the room tense with anticipation. In the end, it was someone Kageyama had barely met: Taketora Yamamoto. He seemed nice enough; when his name was called, his face morphed from serious to shy, and then he was tugging at the hem of his red jumper, mumbling, "Oh no, I hope Kiyoko likes me! What if she thinks I'm scary? I get so nervous around pretty girls, I don't want to mess this up!"

Hinata had been the one to boost him up, like a literal ray of sunshine as he exploded in sincere excitement, "Congratulations! I'm so jealous!"

It was amazing how quickly the mood in the room changed. Hinata's positive energy was obnoxiously infectious. The producers were probably going to hate him by the end of this: it was hard to have a show based on conflict and drama with someone like Hinata around, spouting ideas of friendship and love and rainbows and shit.

Kageyama stared numbly at the ground as he started swinging one leg to the side for the warm up stretches.

Around him, the predawn air was cool and fresh, filled with the sweet perfume of primroses and yellow lilies from the garden in front of the house. As the sky slowly seeped into brushes of faded pink and murky purple strokes from clouds low on the horizon, Kageyama straightened up and started off at a light jog. Since they weren't allowed music or to leave the mansion grounds unless it was for a date, Kageyama made sure to focus on keeping his breathing even as he let himself listen to the birds awaken, the scenery repeating over and over again. By his fifth lap, the sky was vibrantly orange, the clouds now aglow, tinted yellow and off-white.

He was just passing the pool, extra careful to not slip on the tiles as he looped around the edge, when he saw a blur of movement from the corner of his eye. He slowed his pace, curiously looking over his shoulder, and couldn't stop his jaw from dropping. It was this moment of puzzled hesitation that doomed him.

Hinata, his hair fluffy and unbrushed, his white tracksuit dirty and crumpled, _zoomed_ past him, his face the epitome of glee.

Hell no. There was half a second for his brain to catch up with his muscles and then he was speeding after the dancer like a demon from hell, his arms slicing through the air. He didn't know where he was going, but no way was he going to let that idiot beat him, wherever, whenever!

Hinata started shouting when he got close, and Kageyama, not to be outdone, shouted back. They traded challenging stares that would have been awkward had the both of them not been so caught up in beating the other.

Despite his shoulder starting to ache and his breathing getting a bit too labored, Kageyama practically threw himself in front of Hinata, using his longer legs to his advantage as they came to an inelegant stop by the front door. For all his idiocy, the redhead noticed his movements, and attempted to slide into a dive like he was on the baseball team and going for the base.

_Tie_.

After all that, they had tied.

Hinata flopped his face on the ground and just gasped in loud, sucking breaths. Kageyama, his eyes closed as he breathed in and out way too fast, kept his head down as he sat cross-legged near a rose bush, the smell slightly too overwhelming right now.

"Dumbass!" Kageyama said as soon as he caught enough air in his lungs. When Hinata only blearily raised his head half a centimeter off the ground to glare at him, Kageyama allowed a pleased smirk to curl his lips. At least he was the first one who could talk. Beat that!

"When I said next time," he said, pausing to suck in some air, "I didn't mean we had to race every day!"

Hinata actually giggled, and Kageyama startled at the sound, blinking.

"SHUT UP!" someone shouted, and a head of unkempt brown hair appeared from a second floor window. "IT'S NOT EVEN SEVEN, GO TO SLEEP!"

Hinata crawled over to him, and whisper-shouted, "And we know how much the _Great King_ needs his beauty sleep!"

Kageyama laughed and the window petulantly slammed shut above them, rattling in its frame. They were going to get hell later, Kageyama knew first hand how petty Oikawa-san could be, but as he smiled a wobbly grin and Hinata beamed at him with too much teeth, it seemed totally worth it.

* * *

Despite feeling like he was betraying a new friend, Kageyama had to skip the newest episode and stay late for work. While it was mostly going to be about the early one-on-one date with the mohawk-guy (they had gone bungee jumping, it had seemed to go well), there were still confession cameras and hidden cameras and he never knew what the producers were going to show of him, if anything at all. Suga-san generously offered to inform him of all the juicy gossip, which he appreciated, since he was currently bored out of his mind sitting on the last train home.

The latest text from Suga had been about how Hinata called Oikawa the Great King a total of five times on the confession camera, getting way into it as he bounced up and down with never ending energy. They had apparently shown Oikawa flipping his hair and throwing up a cutesy peace sign, uncaring of Hinata's challenge, in his own confession camera take. The actor got all of the good edits, it was so unfair.

While he waited for the next update, he leaned on the side of the window and let his eyes rest. Almost immediately, his phone buzzed in his hand, and he read the first line, confused.

_Answer me, Kageyama! (╬_ _ಠ_ _益_ _ಠ_ _)_

A bit worried about what Suga meant, he opened the messenger app and then realized with growing concern that it was from the Unknown Number. An unknown person who knew his name. What the hell? He formed three different drafts before settling on a simple: _who r u?_

Before he could send it, though, Suga's text came through, messy with urgency: _YOU GOT A VILLAIN EDIT HOLY SHIT DON'T GO ONLINE!_

Oh no. Oh no no no! Kageyama barely remembered what happened during the one-on-one date. He thought he had been settling into a routine at that point: run in the morning, eat breakfast, relax by the pool? Nervously wracking his brain for anything important, he came up blank and then got even more alarmed. What could he _possibly_ have done?

_**Incoming call: Suga-san.** _

He almost dropped his phone in his haste, barely managing to raise it to his ear and catch the first part of Suga's shout, "—yama-kun, don't freak out!"

"Too late!" Kageyama yelled back, garnering a few strange looks from a teenage couple sitting across from him. He ducked his head, whispering angrily, " _Explain_!"

"Okay, so they showed like three clips or voice overs, I don't know, whatever, of you calling the redhead guy a dumbass and then they showed him crying and Noya had to go over and console him and _what the hell happened_?" he rushed out, sounding like he was pacing back and forth.

Kageyama wanted to do the same. What the hell? He called Hinata a dumbass all the time but never once did the dancer start to _cry_. Was it real? Or did they edit it to look like he made him cry? What was happening? Kageyama wanted to cry himself, overwhelmed.

"Breathe!" Suga barked harshly, and Kageyama realized he'd been holding his breath. He followed the counselor's directions, carefully, slowly, like his friend had taught him when things got to be too much.

"I don't know," he finally answered, pressing a palm over his eyes as he hunched into himself. "I don't remember making Hinata cry."

"Okay, okay, that's good," Suga was saying, mostly to himself at this point.

"What do I do?" Kageyama asked, gripping his phone like a lifeline. "Will this affect work? Do I need to call someone?"

"I think," his friend said, haltingly, "I think they're setting you up for something. They normally make these dramatic edits when there's something bigger that's going to happen later."

"The zombie shootout," Kageyama realized with horror. Oh _no_.

There was a new message from the unknown number but Kageyama ignored it. One disaster at a time, thank you very much.

* * *

While Yamamoto was off on his one-on-one date with Kiyoko, most of the guys spent the day relaxing by the side of the pool, either sunbathing or dipping their toes in the lukewarm water. It was casual and relaxed, and Kageyama suspected this was what most days were going to be like from now on, since not everyone got a date and there was literally nothing else to do in the house.

A few were playing Uno — Oikawa just cheered way too loudly, proudly throwing down a red plus-four card to the dismay of Tanaka-san, as Noya and Yahaba laughed cruelly at his misfortune — while Terushima drifted idly on the pool surface, rocking his look on a pink unicorn floaty.

"Bakageyama!"

A few contestants looked his way curiously, and Kageyama scowled back at them. He was fully dressed, no swimsuit in sight, with his hoodie pulled over his head as he bundled up on top of a beach towel, an umbrella shading him from the afternoon sun.

"Let's play pool volleyball!" Hinata yelled, dropping in front of him with hair that looked like it was on fire, backlit by the bright sunlight. "I found a net in the storage closet and you had socks with volleyballs on them and Oikawa played volleyball in high school and it sounds like fun so come on!" he paused for a breath, and Kageyama took that time to scooch away from him.

Undeterred, Hinata followed him, tugging at his elbow, but Kageyama was having none of it. He shoved the short dancer off of him, scrunching up his face. Did he want to play volleyball? _Yes_. He missed the sport like he missed breathing. But to play again after so long and with Oikawa-san of all people? That didn't sound like fun, not with his shoulder still aching from the run this morning and the sneer he could practically already see on his old rival's face.

_A ball fell behind him, timed with the thud-thud-thud of his heartbeat. He turned around, but no one was there._

"No! Go away!" Kageyama squawked angrily, quickly getting to his feet. Hinata stared at his back, but grumpily went about the task of gathering other team members that didn't include the frowny physical therapist in training.

Despite telling himself to leave it be, Kageyama found himself staring out the window in his room for the better part of an hour, watching Hinata fail at receiving the ball, watching Hinata successfully receive the ball but with his face instead of his arms, and watching Hinata attempt spiking the ball over the net (paddling around stupidly in the water and barely managing a big enough jump as water splashed chaotically around him) only to get blocked by the taller opponents on the other side of the net.

Kageyama finally turned away, having enough.

When he went down for dinner, he was alone. Usually there were a few contestants munching on snacks or attempting to make food, but this time the kitchen was empty. There weren't even dirty dishes stacked haphazardly in the sink.

A bit concerned, Kageyama abandoned his goal of food for finding at least one other person. They couldn't have all just left - not without telling him.

Luckily, it didn't take long.

"Kageyama! We were just about to go find you!" Tanaka-san cried, pulling him along at a faster pace in the direction of the living room. Since there was really only one reason the group would be gathered all together on those couches, Kageyama immediately felt a spike in anxiety and anticipation.

The group date card. And it was for ten people this time, including Hinata and Kageyama. Kageyama found Hinata's eyes over Noya-san's head. They were in agreement: it was _on_.

Unlike the previous two dates with Kiyoko, this one took place late in the day; so late, it was practically moonrise, the sun having long since disappeared behind dark nimbus clouds. The night was overcast, but Kageyama didn't even know if they were going to be outside for this date. What was there to do in the evening other than the occasional bar drinks and sleep?

Before leaving in two separate vans, all the men needed to have their mics securely fastened to their casual-but-still-nice clothes in preparation for _whatever_ this group date was. Once the short boom operator pinned his microphone to his black t-shirt, she shuffled back and said brightly, "Good luck out there!"

It felt very ominous, actually. Kageyama hurried away.

As the ten men finished fluffing their hair and smoothing out imagined wrinkles, Kageyama found his way next to Hinata. The other man caught his eye and smiled up encouragingly. Kageyama looked away uncomfortably, pursing his lips and rubbing his hands together.

They filmed for the first ten minutes of the drive, and once the cameras were put away, the group noticeably relaxed. They were allowed to listen to the generic pop music on the driver's playlist, but no radio: they had to be completely cut off from the outside world, even the news.

For this date, Kiyoko was going to meet them there. Everything was so unusual and different than with the other two dates before, Kageyama couldn't help but get more and more nervous as they drove on.

_There_ turned out to be a small room with one long couch facing a television. After the host signed the group in for their slot - doing _what_ Kageyama still didn't know - the men (still without Kiyoko) were shuffled into a waiting room as the screen lit up into a menu. The man working at the counter hit play before they could read the options.

" _You lucky eleven have survived the first outbreak of Rotters, dead men and women risen from the grave. Hospitals have fallen, society is breaking down, and the dead litter the streets —_ _only to get back up again, but this time, with a thirst for braaaaains."_

Someone snorted and the men around him tittered at the dramatic retelling.

" _It is up to you: a team of misfits barely scraping by with old guns and limited ammo, to stop these zombies before they finish off the city. Good luck!"_

Without giving them a chance to wrap their minds around the fact that this date was a _zombie shootout_ , they were each given paintball guns and directions on how to use the weapons by one of the workers in a yellow vest before being quickly led to an open area that honestly looked like the end times.

With the fast moving rain clouds above them and a severe lack of adequate lighting — the dim and flickering bulbs were a mild, unhelpful orange — each broken, tumbling shape looked suspicious. A crow cawed in the background, this high-pitched, strangled, shrieking noise that startled everyone into forming a tighter group, walking closer to each other than before (and a few laughed nervously, trying to shake off the spooky mood that had descended over them).

Then, like it was timed, the moon emerged briefly - offering less than a second of light - and Kageyama saw a flash of something hunching down on top of one of the rafters of a broken, falling apart shed. He blinked and it was gone, not even the shadow of a figure left. The wind ruffled his hair, whistling around them, scraping broken metal against metal, and beyond the normal sounds of wildlife and shifting gravel, something _groaned_ in the distance - eerily inhuman and scarily alive, even if you took into consideration the quality of man-made sound effects these days.

There was a brush of pressure behind him, tugging at the back of his shirt, and Kageyama _freaked out_ , flailing his arms and stumbling over his own two feet to move, move, move. A few guys looked down their nose at him once he caught himself a good distance away, but Kageyama only had eyes for the man behind him.

Hinata looked downright _green_ , his hands uselessly clenching and unclenching in front of him as his paintball gun rested on the ground near his ankle, abandoned. It was a pathetic sight.

"You're not going to vomit, are you?" one of the guys asked carelessly, ducking down to peer into the dancer's eyes. "It's not real, you know?"

"N-no! I know that!" Hinata tried to yell, but his voice cracked and it ended in something closer to a whimper.

One of the shorter guys tried to stifle his laugh, and Kageyama frowned darkly at him, turning his focus immediately back to Hinata and missing the way the guy fumbled back a few steps.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, dumbass!" he shouted a bit too loudly and winced. His own nerves were still very on-edge, too. "If anything gets close to you, shoot it!"

"As long as it's not one of us," someone hurriedly interjected.

Kageyama nodded in agreement, changing his orders to: "If it's ugly, kill it."

"O-oh?" Hinata said, bending down to pick up his paintball gun. He held it in his hands, still looking unsure, and then looked up to meet Kageyama's too-blue eyes. "So, so does that mean I can shoot you?" He attempted a cheeky smile, and half-way succeeded, eyes only for Kageyama as they stared at each other. Kageyama, his fear momentarily forgotten, reached out a hand and squeezed Hinata's head, glaring at him and ignoring the yelping "ow ow ow's." But then he remembered where he was, the metal creaking and moaning around them in a ghostly murmur, and let go very quickly.

Who thought this would be a romantic soundtrack for their group date?

And it was with that thought that the leading lady entered the stage. Her glasses glinted silver in the light, and a murder of crows cackled around them, taking flight in a sea of black feathers. Kageyama and Hinata turned to stare in awe at the cinematic entrance.

Kiyoko was wearing a loose button-up shirt and a ruffled knee-length skirt, her paintball gun leisurely hiked up against her hips like it was meant to be there. "We ready to fight some zombies, boys?" she asked, her face battle-ready and focused. "Let's take back our city!" she shouted (actually shouted, which was an amazing development) and marched forward, leading them like a general would march into battle.

A set of cameras tracked them, but Kageyama barely paid them any mind, instead trying very, very hard to not squeal in horror and shoot at anything that moved in the darkness. A light drizzle had started after they had successfully killed three zombies idling near and on top of an abandoned bus, but the rain did little other than get the group slightly wet. It wasn't like the environment could get any scarier, in his humble opinion.

Kageyama stayed in the back of the group, letting Hinata stick to his side like a leech; he politely ignored the times when a zombie would jump out, Kiyoko would shoot it perfectly in the chest, and the dancer would tug a bit more tightly on the end of his shirt. His own senses were on fire, sensitive to any misstep or crunch of gravel around them, and if he curled a bit more protectively around Hinata, who's to say.

One essential fact to note, though, was that they had limited ammunition. It was important to be careful and strategic or they'd run out of paintballs and not be able to defend themselves. Which is why, when a zombie warbled loudly behind them - therefore, closest to Kageyama and Hinata and farthest from their greatest weapon, Kiyoko - it was especially bad that Hinata's first reaction, other than outright fear, was to go on a wild shooting spree _with his eyes closed_.

"Hinata!" Kageyama shouted, but it was drowned out over the redhead's own deafening, "AHHHHHH HELP MEEE! I'M GONNA DIE!"

Kageyama grappled for the other man's gun, getting into a frantic tug-of-war that was harder than he thought it would be. Hinata, running on pure adrenaline at this point, was surprisingly strong.

"LET GO!" he shouted, giving his all in one harsh pull, and he felt the gun successfully leave the dancer's hands. He had half a second to feel proud before there was wind behind his back and he was falling in a heap on the rough gravel. His palms stung, but what was worse was that both their guns were scattered around them and a zombie was less than a foot away, the white of its eyes shining bright against the dark drizzle, and it was utterly terrifying.

_HELP ME I'M GONNA DIE_ , his mind shrieked, subconsciously mimicking Hinata as he scrambled backwards in a panic, kicking up loose dirt and rocks. Hinata tugged at his shoulder, yelling senselessly, and Kageyama wasted no time in grabbing his hand for a lift up. Luckily, Kiyoko was not one to sit idly by while her soldiers were killed one by one (unlike the other gormless men, who just stared at the scene with their mouths open) and she threw out a hand, aimed, and fired.

Down went two zombies, one after the other.

Kageyama hadn't even seen the second one. His heart hammered against his chest, fluttering like a caged bird. His hands ached, and his breathing was still gasping and uneven. Hinata immediately squished himself to his side once it was deemed safe and zombie-free, his eyes too big and wide.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, so quiet Kageyama might have thought he'd imagined it if not for the honest regret he saw on the other man's face.

He released a slow breath, trying to calm himself. His heart rate didn't slow down, if anything it got worse. "Let's just get our guns, dumbass," he heard himself mutter, but it sounded far away and muted, like he was underwater and watching someone else control his body.

They collected their weapons and after a lot of teasing from the other men in the group (and an amused half-smile from the leading lady herself), the journey continued onward.

By this point, over half of the team were low on ammo (Hinata was close to nothing after that wasteful exercise) and they still had to make their way through a maze-like setting to get back to where they had started. It wasn't a real maze, but the clay walls were tall and winding, making it easy to get lost if they didn't stick with the group.

Kageyama made sure he stuck with the group, which in turn ensured Hinata stuck with the group.

There were a few jump scares behind them again, but this time, they were better prepared. Hinata would cower behind Kageyama, and _Kageyama_ would be the one to shoot the zombie, with his eyes actually open. He had very good aim, honed from years of experience with volleyball, believe it or not, and had a lot of ammo to spare. To his surprise, the creepy background noises and wailing of the undead got less scary with Hinata's warm presence flush against his back, his hair tickling his neck as the smaller man breathed out nervous but encouraging words: "kill it, kill it, kill it, Kageyama! AHHHH, LEFT, LEFT, oh nice kill! WAIT THERE'S MORE AH KILL IT OH MY GOD!"

"Shut up!" he yelled, his face hot and pink. He heard a few men snicker.

They turned a corner and a rotting zombie garbled, decaying hands reaching out for them. One of the men, a short man with glasses and thick eyebrows, shot it with an orange paintball. Kiyoko continued ahead, and maybe that's why the other contestant thought he could get away with his mean-spirited jab.

" _That's_ how you kill a zombie," he said lightly. "Try to not be so useless."

If they were friends, it wouldn't be so bad. It would be friendly ribbing, harmless and teasing. But with the way Hinata's face closed off, his orange curls covering his eyes as he ducked his head, Kageyama didn't think they even knew each other's names.

It was mean. Kageyama frowned, and the man smirked down at Hinata and then up at Kageyama. And before he knew it, Kageyama very purposefully, very aware of the effect it had on other people, _smiled_ with all his teeth like he was actually out here enjoying himself (he kinda was, to be honest).

It had the intended effect, and the man jumped, desperately backpedaling. "It-it was a joke!" he threw out, in this moment assuredly afraid of something that definitely wasn't fake zombies, "I was kidding."

"Apologize to Hinata," Kageyama ordered, crossing his arms over his chest and staring the other man down.

"I'm sorry, Hinata!" the guy squealed and didn't even wait for the dancer to respond, quickly hurrying back to the group and away from Kageyama's serial killer grin.

When Hinata looked up, his eyes were bright and glossy, but he thankfully didn't see any tear tracks.

"I take it back," Hinata said softly, staring into the taller man's eyes before looking ahead as they started to walk, "I think your smile is beautiful."

It was the nicest 'thank you' Kageyama had ever gotten in his life. He smiled without even thinking about it, but this one didn't look like a murderer. It was soft at the edges, warm and kind and full of something that might have been the start of affection.

* * *

Kageyama clicked on the YouTube link with growing trepidation. Suga had told him to stay off the internet, but he had to see what he'd missed. He wasn't going to read the comments, obviously, but he needed to see the edit with his own eyes, match the moments to his own memories.

It was just as Suga had told him. There were clips and voice overs of him calling Hinata a dumbass. It was a mesh of different moments, but definitely Kageyama's voice. The scene with Hinata crying, though? That was new to him; Hinata was even wearing a shirt he didn't think he'd seen before: a blue hoodie that only said MEAT in curly white font. Maybe it was from a different time; perhaps they pulled from a future moment to get more dramatic emotions for the story the production crew wanted to tell. He wanted to believe that rather than the potential fact that he made the small, happy dancer cry. His stomach twisted uncomfortably at the mere thought.

As the video continued, Kageyama found himself leaning forward in interest. Suga hadn't told him what had happened in the zombie shootout part of the episode, instead pulling him away from his phone so they could play a game of cards. Daichi and even Asahi joined them later, bringing a tub of vanilla ice cream as a peace offering.

The episode was just as bad as he'd thought.

" _And then, the next thing I see is Kageyama_ grabbing _Hinata's gun away from him just as a zombie comes out."_ The man says, pushing at his glasses. " _I mean, I get that he's competitive, but that was just cruel. Poor Hinata, he totally freaked out. Good thing Kiyoko put a stop to it immediately."_

Screw Oikawa, Kageyama thought vehemently, _this_ guy was the real villain of the show.

" _That was really frightening!_ " Hinata told the cameras, his eyes bright against the smoky background behind him. " _Kageyama was totally,"_ the scene cut out to view the apocalyptic setting, Kageyama smiling like a deranged maniac as the camera wobbled _, "scary_."

Instead of freaking out, Kageyama frowned thoughtfully, leaning back and rewinding ten seconds. It.. almost looked like Hinata was going to say something else.

Well. _Whatever_. This was all behind him. As long as it didn't interfere with his life right now, he refused to let it bother him.

Instead, he tried to remember Hinata's smile. The good moments.

His phone lit up again, this time for a call. He muted it without looking at the ID and flopped gracelessly on his bed. He'd deal with everything tomorrow. Right now, he'd just come back from a long day of work, and sleep was calling out to him.

_._

_tbc_

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the heck, I've never had a story be this fun or easy to write before. I hope y'all are enjoying it so far! Thanks for reading!


	4. oh no he's hot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this chapter actually uses the T rating, due to of-age alcohol consumption and mildly suggestive themes. Still a very PG story, not gonna lie.

* * *

" _New, on the Bachelorette…"_

* * *

To his surprise, Kageyama survived the second rose ceremony of the week and successfully remained on the show for at least another seven days. Tanaka-san had been safe already, having won a rose after the mud wrestling group date, along with Yamamoto and another man with a kind face but a too-long name for Kageyama to remember; the contestant had apparently had a pleasant conversation with the leading lady after destroying a horde of the undead, surrounded by paintball splatters and a whistling wind.

A few men — including one that hadn't gotten a rose, a man with glasses and small eyes — gave him a distrustful look, eyeing his dark scowl and shadowed expression with a pointed glance. He honestly didn't understand it either: he was left standing with a rose pinned neatly to his lapel with men like Noya, Oikawa, and Hinata standing next to him, bright and glowing. All of them were so charismatic and charming, and then here Kageyama was with an intimidating face and terrible social skills. He was the blot of bleeding black ink on a white piece of paper.

Despite his abysmal performance on the zombie shootout date, Kageyama did manage to have a nice, if still slightly awkward, chat with Kiyoko during the cocktail party before the ceremony. Their conversation, while not romantic in the slightest, felt like taking a long, slow sip of hot chocolate after an hour of trudging through a foot of snow on a cold, blistering day. He genuinely liked Kiyoko, a lot. She deserved to have a happy ending.

By the end of the night, four men went home, leaving nineteen men left in the house to compete over Kiyoko's love.

This time, Kageyama didn't immediately head straight for his bunk bed once it was deemed safe. The rose ceremony only took half as long as it did the first night (due to less people and Kiyoko's better understanding of the group) and as Noya-san invited him to play a round of Most Likely, a drinking game where someone asked the group a question (i.e. "who is the most likely to become a nun?"), Kageyama found himself settled next to Hinata as Oikawa, Tanaka, Terushima, and two others joined him in a circle on the floor.

They had pushed the couches flush against the wall to give themselves more space and an assorted mix of cocktails, shot glasses, and beer bottles rested nearby, ready and waiting.

The game was a hot mess.

After ten rounds in, Oikawa-san asked, "Who is most likely to get it on with a vampire?" and six fingers were suddenly pointing at a pouting Hinata (who in turn had pointed at Terushima; Kageyama had pointed at Oikawa). Kageyama wondered if maybe this wasn't the best use of his time as he watched them take their chosen number of shots. Because Hinata, his clothes askew, his eyes bright even with the sleepy droop of his eyelids, looked…

"It's your turn, Bakageyama!" Hinata shouted cheerfully, leaning so far forward he was practically in the taller man's lap. Luckily, his blush was covered by the flush already on his face from the Kamikaze bombs Oikawa had whipped up for them: a sinfully tasty cocktail of vodka, triple sec, and lime juice.

Pushing the dancer off of him with what he hoped was a deep scowl and an angry glare (but was actually just a mopey, sulky look), Kageyama hissed, "I know that!" With seven expectant eyes on him, he mumbled out, losing confidence, "Who is the most likely… to get away with murder?"

"Looks like it's just you and me, Tobio-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, smiling with all his teeth.

Kageyama raised his head to see Tanaka, Noya, and Hinata pointing unerringly at the actor, with Terushima, Oikawa, and the other two pointing at himself. Not one to lose to Oikawa of all people, Kageyama pointed back at the other man, glaring hotly, stupidly proud of the fact that now they both had to drink four shots together.

Hinata pushed the four shot glasses on the coffee table towards him, grinning, and Kageyama smiled back on reflex, but then almost immediately realizing he'd forgotten to cover his mouth. No one cowered away in petrified fear, though, so maybe they were too drunk to really care.

On the other side, the actor chuckled low in his throat, and Kageyama's eyes shot to him. Oikawa's smile eased into something that didn't resemble glittering shards of glass so much as a polished river rock, smoother and softer. But when he blinked, trying to force his brain to understand what was happening, the look was gone.

"Bottoms up!" the man simpered, and knocked back four gulps. Kageyama, not to be outdone, took four and then one more in quick succession, just to show him.

Hinata giggled by his side, pushing up against his shoulder, a warm and comforting presence. Kageyama was too tired to push him away, not even sure if he really wanted to; his brain felt light and numb inside his head, like he was floating.

"Whoa, look at you, Shouyou," someone that might have been Tanaka-san shouted, clapping his hands together. "Good idea, man! Let's play Attached at the Hip!"

This new game consisted of three very simple directions: one, write down a body part on a slip of paper and place it in a pile; two, break into pairs and blindly pick one of the pieces of paper; three, stay attached to your partner by the chosen body part for as long as possible. Anytime someone separates, both partners drink.

Kageyama blinked dumbly as people around him paired up, picking up their papers and complaining (or laughing way too loudly).

"Wanna be my partner, Bakageyama?" the little dancer asked him, pushing into his personal bubble.

The world felt fuzzy around the edges, and things were moving too fast for him to fully grasp. "Okay," he grumbled into his lap, shyly avoiding Hinata's eyes.

"Cute," he thought he heard someone whisper, sounding slightly offended, but when he raised his head, he was alone. Hinata had gone over to grab their paper, Noya and Tanaka were curled next to each other, their knees locked together, and Oikawa had his arms linked with Terushima, their hips touching. Even the other two men were off in the corner, holding hands.

"We got… butts!" Hinata shouted proudly, stumbling back, and Kageyama felt his blush come back in full force as some of the classier men not involved in their drinking game looked over. His cheeks felt on fire.

"Gimme that!" he shouted, swiping the paper from Hinata's hands. It did indeed say, in curly, cutesy handwriting, "butts." It looked vaguely familiar, too.

"Have fun!" Oikawa chirped from his corner.

Tomorrow he was going to have trouble looking anyone in the eye. But right now, as Oikawa smirked and Hinata stared up at him, a competitive glint in his eyes, Kageyama _refused_ to lose.

Tomorrow was tomorrow. And tonight was tonight.

"Let's do this," he consented, and then they were pressed against each other, their backs touching. It took them a while to get comfortable, though, due to the height difference.

"Ahhh, this isn't working!" Hinata whined, shimmying uncomfortably.

"Stop that!" Kageyama shouted, slamming an elbow backwards and missing Hinata's head by a couple inches. But it was the thought that counted, and the dancer stopped moving around like he was trying to shake off a colony of ants.

Noya-san opened his mouth, but Kageyama shot him the worst, scariest glare he could muster. Even tipsy, he still had it. The race car driver shut his mouth with a click, huffing and looking away, instead bumping his knees with his friend and raising a suggestive eyebrow.

In the end, the Kageyama-Hinata duo won, even if it was by default because everyone else gave up and left to get at least a couple hours of sleep.

"That was fun!" Hinata told him sleepily as they walked back to their rooms together, rubbing at his eye and yawning. "We make a good team."

"Yeah," was all Kageyama said, his head feeling lightheaded for reasons other than the alcohol. He tried not to think about that too much.

* * *

The newest Bachelorette episode was thankfully free of Kageyama-centric drama. It was a fun, cute episode where Hinata, Tanaka, Oikawa, and a few others went on a k-pop dancing competition with Kiyoko for their group date.

Kageyama honestly couldn't stop smiling into his ramen, trying to hide his face whenever Suga-san looked over at him, his hazel-brown eyes wide.

With a strong bass and upbeat pop music, the editing made the guys look focused, if a bit clumsy, but Kageyama knew that was far from the truth. No one had known what they were doing, even Hinata, though the dancer was the best prepared out of all of them.

The group of men stood on stage, some noticeably more awkward than others, and tried to keep up with the shifting, fast-paced choreography. There was dramatic hair-flipping, and moves where the men had to lean down, touch their toes, and then pop back with a sinuous curl of their bodies.

On the screen, Hinata leaned his shoulders into it, moving like he didn't have any bones in his body, and Kageyama's quiet chuckle cut off before the show could shift to a scene with Kiyoko laughing, her cheeks pink and a beautiful smile lifting her lips.

What the hell.

As the others tried really hard to keep up, Hinata included, Kageyama couldn't keep his eyes off of the television. He looked _good_. Silly and dorky, but the way he put his entire body into following the flow of the music was entrancing. Hinata hadn't said anything about _this_ when he'd asked how it went.

" _Oh_ , Kageyama-kun," Suga said. He didn't need to say anything more.

Kageyama forced himself to pull his eyes from the television, blinking back at his friend. "It's fine," he lied.

Suga abandoned his spot on the couch to sit next to him at the table. He reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing.

"If you're sure," he said, bumping their shoulders together as they went back to watching the show.

The next part of the episode focused on Noya's one-on-one date. It looked exciting and was almost too perfect for the race car driver. They were the leads for an action movie, and got to learn from stunt doubles and a very knowledgeable film crew. Noya knew way too many cringey jokes, but Kiyoko looked so lively and at peace it didn't matter just how bad they were.

It was a good episode, Kageyama told himself. But if he was asked about what had happened, he'd only be able to remember Hinata dancing.

* * *

When the second group date card came around, Kageyama wasn't on it. Nine men had gone on the k-pop dancing date, and Noya had been the lucky man to snag the one-on-one. Now, six men headed off doing whatever "let's do what feels natural" meant. And he was left out: one of the three who were left to their own devices in the mansion without having been on a date this week.

"There's still the one-on-one," Hinata said consolingly without prompting, peering down at him, his face shadowed as he blocked the sun. "Don't stress, Bakageyama!"

"Shut up, dumbass!" he answered reflexively, shifting grouchily on his beach towel. "You're blocking my sunlight, go away."

"Stuuuuupid," Hinata drawled. He put his hands on his hips, his smile widening, "You're in the shade, dummy! Come out from under the umbrella and play with us!"

Kageyama looked distastefully around the other contestant. There was a volleyball net set up along the short length of the pool, but it was near the deep end. Was that why Hinata sucked so much that other time? Because he was too short to really be able to lift off from the bottom?

From inside the pool, the water a pretty crystal blue, Oikawa-san smiled encouragingly at him, but his eyes were so cold and calculating it was obviously one of his masks. He expertly spun the white volleyball between his hands, tauntingly. Kageyama shivered, but Hinata saw it, pushing into his personal space and breaking the eye contact between the two of them.

"See!" he yelled triumphantly. "You're cold in the shade! Come play volleyball with me in the sun! I need someone else on my team to be able to beat the Great King!"

_No_ was already on his lips, but then he heard Oikawa say, too loudly to not be overheard by anyone sitting or sunbathing nearby, "Leave the King be. He already said he doesn't want to play, Chibi-chan."

_King_.

Hinata just looked confused, but Kageyama didn't care to stick around to hear his answer, getting to his feet and rummaging around for his shirt. He didn't have to take this.

A warm hand, dripping with water and smelling like chlorine, snapped out like lightning and held onto his wrist, keeping him from leaving in a loose but undeniably firm hold. Kageyama glared at the dancer, but Hinata was staring back at Oikawa, his brown eyes blazing as his expression stayed disturbingly blank. It was a little freaky, to be honest.

"If Kageyama's the King, then you can't be the Great King," Hinata said, following his own special brand of logic, "we can't have two kings." He smiled, gently set Kageyama's hand back down at his side, and clapped his hands together. "The loser will have to be called the Queen, then!"

"Hell no!" Kageyama shouted, slapping the back of Hinata's head. He crossed his arms over his chest, staring back at Oikawa's team: Terushima, Yahaba, Yamamoto. On the other side of the net, Noya and Tanaka were getting into a splashing fight, taking turns dunking each other into the water.

"I'll be the setter," he told his new team matter of factly, and Hinata bounced on his toes, bursting into the air with a cheer. Kageyama could practically see dark wings extending out from behind him, black and beautiful.

He could use this. Oikawa didn't look concerned, though, even after that astounding display of raw ability, instead moving to talk to the other three contestants with a casual flap of his hands.

Kageyama hadn't played volleyball since his accident in college, but that didn't matter. Not right now. He was going to win. He had to.

"Let's win," Hinata unknowingly echoed.

"Right," he agreed.

The score was 12-7. They were losing, by a lot. Rocks pressed against his stomach, weighing him down, cutting him open with their jagged edges. He felt like he was drowning even though the lukewarm water only reached his lower abdomen and the air was warm and kind above the water.

"Don't mind, don't mind," Hinata said, trying to stay optimistic as he pushed sopping hair out of his eyes, blinking rapidly. Kageyama wanted to kill him or hug him, he couldn't decide. For the last rally, the dancer had practically flung himself at the ball, throwing it up only to fall fully into the water, completely sinking below the surface. Tanaka spiked it, but Terushima was there to block it, and the ball had smacked the water on their side with a bouncing pop.

Even with the weirdness of playing volleyball in a pool — the water made every slight movement that much more sluggish in a game where speed was key — it was still _volleyball_. He should be better. He should…

Water aggressively splashed against his face, getting into his mouth and nose as he gasped and choked, hacking into the pool as water dripped from his bangs. When he glared up, murder in his eyes, Hinata didn't look afraid. He looked challenging.

"I'm going to splash you again!" he threatened, a hand poised on the surface of the water, waiting.

The team on the other side stifled their laughter, but Kageyama didn't dare look away from the dancer, the water fully up to the other man's shoulders. Hinata didn't even seem to care.

But Hinata didn't say, "it's just a game, relax, have fun!" or anything along those lines. Instead, he promised, "Send the next one to me. I'll get it over."

And despite the absolute failure in both his previous game a week ago and this game right now, Kageyama felt something like a snap behind his eyelids, something clicking in place.

"Don't miss," he said and took the volleyball from Noya's hands, jumping when the small race car driver excitedly slapped his back. Tanaka gave him a double thumbs-up, grinning from ear to ear.

_He'd lost his team in middle school._

Hinata stared at him, waiting, waiting, waiting.

_They'd abandoned him._

Tanaka got it up, "nice receive!" he heard himself shout from somewhere far away, and then the ball was falling into his hands. There was the lightest of touches, less than half a second, as he held onto it.

_Thud-thud-thud._

"KAGEYAMA! I'M HERE!"

He leaned his body back, the water rippling around him, and _shot_ the ball behind him. There was a smack and a curse.

He was almost afraid to look, but…

Oikawa was staring at them from across the net, a look in his eyes Kageyama couldn't decipher.

"DO IT AGAIN!" Hinata yelled, his hair on fire as his eyes glowed like a rising sun. The ball floated on the other side, bobbing up and down on the light waves.

They'd scored a point.

The rocks in his stomach turned into butterflies, and Kageyama felt like he was flying right next to the dancer.

_They_ were going to win. Together. He wasn't alone right now, not this time.

* * *

Kageyama was just getting off work, ready for the weekend as he strolled towards the train station, when his phone lit up. It turned off before he could fish it out of his bag, but then brightened up again almost immediately once it was in his hands. He let it darken into a missed call, his heart pounding in his ears.

This stranger knew his _name_. It was definitely no one from work, and he had all his friends' numbers.

His phone brightened again, not to be deterred.

_**Incoming call: Unknown Number.** _

With his heart in his throat, Kageyama swiped up and held it to his ear, waiting for the other person to speak first.

" _BAKAGEYAMA_!" the... _Hinata_ yelled, and Kageyama frowned, pulling his phone away from his ear, the shout rattling around his head like a loose screw.

Wait.

What.

WHAT?!

"HINATA?" he shouted back, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. The unknown number, the person he thought might have been a _stalker_ , was actually one of the fellow contestants who had been stuck on the same TV show with him months ago.

"How did you get my number?" he yelled, coming across all wrong as he shuffled absentmindedly to the side as a family gave him a dirty look for blocking the way. His brain felt like it was short-circuiting. All those times Hinata had texted him, asking to meet up? What did _that_ mean? "What the hell?" he summed up lamely.

"No, no, no," Hinata shouted back at him, sounding really angry, "You don't get to be mad about this. I left like twenty messages _and_ called you. How many times did you answer? Well let's see here, that'd be a zero, zero into zero—"

"—Wait a second here, hold on—"

"—Carry the zero—"

"—Okay, I get it," Kageyama interrupted sourly, pouting.

Hinata seemed to deflate on the other end. "Good."

Before the other man could respond, though, he rushed out, "But how was I supposed to know that was you? You never left your name in the texts! I thought you were some stalker or something, I don't know!"

There was a pause, like Hinata couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "I left my name in the voicemail!"

Oh. Kageyama never listened to his voicemails. They were usually just spam robocalls or scams to get money.

"Oh," he said out loud. Kageyama bowed his head, pushing the back of his hand against his eyes as his cheeks warmed uncomfortably.

"Oh?" Hinata asked, cranky.

He felt like laughing or crying, but he wasn't sure which. "I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, scuffing a foot on the ground. He felt like such an idiot, so what could Hinata possibly think of him right now? He confessed, barely above a whisper, "I didn't listen to the voicemail."

Hinata sighed loudly, but his voice was much quieter, almost sheepish, when he said, "I'm sorry too. I should have said 'oh BTW, this is Hinata' when you never answered me."

"It's fine," he heard himself saying, feeling oddly distant. What was happening? Now that he wasn't worried about some unnamed stalker, he was left with an even bigger question: what did Hinata want with him? The show had ended months ago, there was nothing tying them together, so...

"I'm going to be around in two weeks for a performance. What do you think of getting dinner together after? It'll be on me, since it was kinda my fault you thought you had a stalker?"

"Um, okay," he accepted, fidgeting with the end of his sleeves. "I'll be there?"

Hinata laughed, and it sounded so light and soft and maybe even a bit relieved. "You don't need to check your calendar? No wait, don't answer that, it's too late, you already said yes! No take backs!"

Kageyama nodded, even though the dancer couldn't see him. "I'm free," he confirmed, just to be safe. He didn't want any more stupid miscommunication problems between them.

"Good, that's great!"

"Cool," he added.

"Um, okay, bye then… See you in two weeks! I'll text you the place and time later!"

"Okay," Kageyama said, blinking down at the sidewalk and then cringing at himself: he was capable of talking in more than one-word sentences! Get it together, he told himself. Quickly, before Hinata could hang up, he rushed out, "Thank you!"

And then blushed to the tip of his ears. _Thank you?_ "Um, bye!" and he hung up before Hinata could answer.

_Oh god._

Immediately, the phone was back to his ear. It clicked on the other end and a soft voice asked cautiously, "Hello?"

"Suga-san, please help me!"

Later in the night, as he hugged a pillow to his chest, he remembered to change the Unknown Number to Hinata Shouyou on his phone. He almost wanted to add a heart, but that was way too much, even for him, so instead he plugged the device into its charger and groaned into his pillow, squeezing his eyes shut.

He wasn't ready to see Hinata again. But at the same time, he couldn't stop smiling.

.

_tbc_

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to share that originally I was going to have "belly" be written on the paper for the drinking game because I thought it was going to be cute to have them fall asleep on top of each other or something, but then when I was writing it, Hinata yelled "butts" and I was like, okay, fine, you do you. So, yeah, that happened. For better or worse, I guess.
> 
> The next chapter has not been written yet (I'm struggling, I guess I just don't want to end this fun little thing?), so it might not be out 'till a week from now.


	5. entrances and exits but this time it's sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were originally only going to be five chapters, but Kageyama had to do some long, angsty soul searching before I could throw Hinata into his arms, I guess.

* * *

" _This week, on the Bachelorette…"_

* * *

He had thought the zombies were scary, but this was worse, much worse. Nineteen men were staring at him, some frowning in jealousy, some just blinking curiously, like they'd forgotten he even existed. He felt cold all over, even with Hinata's soft fingers holding his hand, trying to pass the white one-on-one date card to him.

"Take it, Kageyama-kun," the dancer pleaded, pushing the paper at him again, this time with more insistence. The cameras around them greedily tracked the motion. Kageyama grimaced, snatching the envelope away with too much force. Luckily, it didn't tear. He crumpled it slightly in his shaking hands, staring down at the black lines.

" _Kageyama Tobio: please join me for a blast from the past."_

That was indeed his name. He was going on the one-on-one date with Kiyoko. If he failed, he might not be able to stick around for another week. This could be the end. Of everything.

"You'll be fine!" Hinata said, smiling, but it wasn't as bright as usual, and that scared Kageyama more than he expected, his dread spiraling into a full out panic. The dancer stumbled to fix his mistake, looking into the crowd for help, "Right, guys?"

No one could ever say Tanaka and Noya weren't reliable. "Yeah!" Tanaka-san yelled, violently ruffling the taller man's hair. Ow, ow, ow! Noya slammed into him from behind, and the two toppled to the ground, barely missing the corner of the coffee table as his breath got knocked out of him.

It was Oikawa-san that snapped him out of his hysteria, though.

"Just be yourself, Tobio-chan," the actor said, lowly, frowning down at them with his hands on his hips, looking like a model himself.

Kageyama breathed in, thumping his head on the ground. Oikawa was right. He had to be himself. He hadn't ever been one for artificial niceties, always truthful to the point of alienating everyone around him. He was also a terrible liar. If Kiyoko didn't like him, there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Or maybe not," Oikawa continued after a moment of thought, a finger on his chin, and Kageyama turned to glare at him. The actor ignored him, his eyes shining playfully, "Try to be a less stupid version of yourself."

Ignoring the second addition, Kageyama centered himself with the fact that no matter what, he had made it this far. No one could say he hadn't tried.

Unfortunately, this newfound calm disappeared the next day, as soon as Kiyoko joined the group of men outside near the pool. They had gathered in the raised area of the deck, sitting in a wide circle on a row of couches, chairs, and a set of three square storage benches topped with a thin layer of cushion.

The camera crew idled nearby, fanning out around them to get all the good angles. It was unapologetically staged, but Kageyama couldn't find it in himself to really care at the moment; he was about to leave anyway, so what did this one (probably only three seconds, anyway) scene even matter.

"Hello, everyone," the leading lady greeted the group politely, walking over in a cute but casual knee-length dress the color of roses. She hesitantly sat down in the middle of the couch as the men shuffled off to the side to give her more room.

No one else noticed, except maybe Kageyama and Noya, who was sitting nearby, how Terushima picked up Hinata by the back of his shirt and haphazardly tossed him a few seats over. The dancer blinked rapidly at the change of scenery, before realization sunk in. Then he was turning a deep, deep red, and puffing out his cheeks angrily.

"You look gorgeous," Terushima said, winking flirtatiously as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Thank you," Kiyoko responded, tucking in her chin bashfully. She turned to Kageyama, "Are you ready, Tobio-kun?"

Kageyama nodded, and then said, belatedly, "Yes!"

He felt so stiff and unnatural, like he didn't fit in his own body. He wasn't made out for this life; he wished he couldn't see the cameras right now, tracking his every move, zooming in and out. Maybe they'd edit it all out, he told himself optimistically, but that rang so false it actually worsened his already bleak mood.

"Have fun!" Hinata cheered over whatever Terushima was saying, butting into the conversation through sheer willpower. Kiyoko looked back at Kageyama, helplessly, and he knew what he had to do to move this whole moment along.

"I'm excited for our first one-on-one date, Kiyoko-san!" he said, bowing down more intensely than he'd meant to. He straightened up and offered his hand for her to take, ignoring everyone else with a forced calmness. "Shall we get started?"

Not that he even knew what they were doing. But anywhere was better than here.

"Yes, please," she responded, just as cordially, but her smile was thankful. She nodded at the group before taking his hand. Her palms were warm, and he didn't want to let go of that grounding feeling, so he didn't. Kiyoko smiled up at him and gave his hand a comforting squeeze, not letting go either.

They left the house together, holding hands, and Kageyama sighed through his nose once he couldn't see the other eighteen men anymore.

"It's a lot," Kiyoko agreed, easily reading his expression.

He ducked his head, hiding his eyes as he nodded. He felt so nervous, but he didn't want to ruin this.

She squeezed his hand before he could start rambling. "Let's just try to have fun, okay? No expectations, not right now. It's just the two of us."

And their producers, with their fifteen cameras, and then soon an entire nation of viewers.

Kageyama felt his shoulders curve as he tried to make himself smaller, so he forcefully pushed away the intrusive thoughts, reminding himself over and over: be yourself, be yourself, be yourself. He wasn't alone. Not this time. He could do this!

"You look very pretty," he told her earnestly, rubbing the back of his neck, catching a camera moving a little more to the left in his peripheral vision.

"Thank you," the model answered sweetly, leaning into his side. He stared down at the top of her head, the cameras disappearing for just a moment as he breathed in. She looked up at him, but his heart didn't thrum wildly against his chest like it had done with... "I'm glad this date is with you, Tobio-kun."

"Um, me too," he said, lacking anything else to say. He shut his mouth tightly, swallowing the follow up clarification of "with you, I mean" because _absolutely not_. He was on a televised reality show where he was only allowed to date her. He didn't need to make himself seem any more stupid than he already looked.

Kiyoko was _nice_. She was beautiful, kind, and smart. So why did he feel like he wasn't meant to be here anymore?

Maybe he just needed to give the date a chance, get to know the leading lady a bit better. It had only been two weeks, after all. He just had to survive this one date, no big deal.

To his immense relief, the date wasn't anything dangerous or frightening, which should have made him immediately suspicious. As they leisurely walked around the historic downtown district, occasionally reading markers offering up interesting facts about the area (from agriculture to marine life), Kageyama actually thought it was going well. It wasn't particularly enthralling, but it was still very pleasant.

Kiyoko looked at ease as they started talking about their history with sports, shifting over so a group of boys could pass them on the sidewalk, fully decked out in a university team's grey-white jersey. Kageyama confided in her about his accident in college, feeling more open about the incident since the water volleyball game. The wounds were still there, but it didn't feel so raw and sensitive anymore. And in return, he listened attentively as Kiyoko revealed her own involvement in track and field and then her experiences as a model.

The date was easier than he'd thought; Kiyoko reminded him a bit of Suga-san. Both of them were very warmhearted people. It was going very well, all things considered. Which is why Kageyama was not as surprised as he should have been when he saw two very tall, very familiar men pass by them as they were about to cross the street.

It was a blast from the past, alright. Sometimes, he hated the producers and their scheming.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Suga asked, utterly bewildered as he took in the scene in front of him.

Kageyama was sitting on the floor by the couch, an entire tub of ice cream in his lap (the highly decadent kind: vanilla topped with oreos and fudge and even _rainbow sprinkles_ ), with a fuzzy blanket draped over his head like a misshapen hoodie. The taller man avoided his eyes and instead scooped up a bite of his dessert, hiding under the curve of the blanket.

"Why are you not sitting on the couch like a normal person?" the silver-haired counselor bemoaned, ignoring everything else and making his way to his usual spot. He ran his fingers along the arm of the couch for the remote. "Is this about the new episode tonight? If you don't want to watch it, we don't have to."

"No," Kageyama muttered softly, raising his eyes. They looked a bit too wide to be normal. He had his phone next to him, sitting screen-up on the floor. "I want to see how they edit it. It's an important episode."

"If you're sure," Suga answered hesitatingly, but turned the TV on, finding the right channel.

His phone lit up in a text and Kageyama dove for it, punching in the passcode quickly. Suga peered over his shoulder unrepentantly.

 _ **Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass)**_ _: Ohhhh this is your one-on-one date!_ _ᕕ(◉Д◉ )ᕗ_ _Uwahhh, I'm so excited!_

Kageyama wrote and then rewrote his answer five different times. Suga couldn't look away. "Write _something_ ," he advised after Kageyama erased an entire paragraph.

He frowned at him, huffing and then typing in, very slowly so Suga could see he was texting the dancer back: _yeah._ He hit 'send' with a flourish befitting a king.

Suga smacked the back of his head, laughing. "Not what I meant, but okay."

Kageyama opened his mouth but Suga shook his head, pointing at the screen's opening title. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

* * *

"Kindaichi, Kunimi," Kageyama greeted, his face thankfully blank and free of his internal panic. He raised his free hand towards Kiyoko, the model looking so much more elegant and vibrant compared to him, "This is Kiyoko Shimizu."

"Hello," she said, bowing her head politely.

"N-nice to meet you," the spiky-haired man mumbled, peering down at them curiously before turning helplessly to his partner. Kindaichi could be just as awkward as Kageyama when faced with unexpected situations, he remembered. His old classmates were both wearing a familiar university team's grey jersey, _Tamaden Elephants_ written in large block letters on the front.

Kunimi accepted the plea for help and shuffled in front of his friend, partially covering him from the cameras spanning out around them like a ring of sharks in an open sea, tasting fresh blood. Kageyama looked away, trying to keep his breathing even as Kunimi asked, with a pointed look at the equipment around them, "So what have you been up to, Kageyama-kun? Are you an actor now?"

"Not doing volleyball anymore?" Kindaichi questioned, this time with a bite in his words as he sent a heated look over Kunimi's head. He remembered that same look in high school, bright and mean across the net with Oikawa a fierce rival by their side in immaculate white and trimmed blue. In the present, he missed Kunimi and Kindaichi's shared glance of confusion at his silence.

 _You tyrant King,_ he heard on repeat, and it felt like he was a teenager again, failing to escape the shadows and cruel whispers.

"He's a physical therapist, actually," Kiyoko answered for him, tugging at their connected hands a bit worriedly when the quiet grew too long. She smiled, but the soft edges were sharpening protectively the more Kageyama shrunk into himself.

"Oh, that's surprising," Kunimi said, his eyes still drooping sleepily even as his gaze focused on him thoughtfully. Kindaichi straightened in shock, staring flabbergasted at his old setter. "Did something happen?"

Was that… concern? Of course it wasn't, it _couldn't_ be. The three had separated on harsh terms after graduating high school after years upon years of cold, cutthroat competition; his new teammates in college seemed to know of his old reputation, and it had only gone downhill from there, leading to him working himself too hard and busting up his shoulder after the millionth late-night practice to get better, be better.

He knew he had to answer them. But this was being _filmed_ , and despite the litany of blunders he was undoubtedly going to be sharing to the entire nation, Kageyama found it hard to speak. It was like there was something in his throat, blocking the words and then the air and his skin felt on fire and it was getting hard to breathe and—

—and Kiyoko squeezed his hand, hard and painfully sharp as her nails dug into the back of his hand. He blinked through the tangled spiderwebs obscuring his vision to stare down at her impassive expression, but her stormy blue eyes were round with care. Except instead of feeling grounded by the sight of a pretty, kind woman by his side, he wanted the warm cocoon of Hinata leaning into him, barely meeting his shoulders with a birdsnest of chaotic orange curls. He wanted the dumbass next to him, shouting his head off at the slightest provocation, he wanted… Hinata. He wanted Hinata.

Breathe, he ordered himself and his body obliged. Once he'd grounded himself just enough, he raised his head to see Kindaichi and Kunimi staring worriedly at the couple. Kunimi sighed quietly when their eyes met.

"Kageyama," he said, but then stopped, at a loss for words. He glared drowsily at the ground, looking frustrated at himself.

Kindaichi took his place, eyeing the cameras again with a cautious, uncomfortable look. "Listen, it's been years since we last saw each other and we've all changed. But I'm, uh, I'm glad you're happy where you are now?"

It was phrased as a question because was Kageyama even happy? He wasn't playing volleyball anymore and that had been his _world_ when he was younger. But beyond that, Kageyama couldn't stop himself from frowning intensely at the two; it was like trying to solve a puzzle that kept on shifting, always one step ahead of him.

"Thank you," he answered stiffly, and Kiyoko kindly shuffled slightly in front of him. His shoulders relaxed an inch at the small distance put between them and he squeezed her hand once in appreciation. "I hope you are both happy too?"

"Uh yeah, yeah." An awkward pause. "Thanks."

"Well!" Kindaichi said, clapping loudly and startling his tired companion into giving him the stink eye. "Sorry for interrupting your date!" He bowed his spiky head of hair, pulling Kunimi down with him.

Then, without further ado, his old teammate marched into the crosswalk, pulling his sluggish friend with him. Kunimi, looking over his shoulder and above the group of shorter pedestrians crossing the opposite way, called loudly, "Good luck!" And though it made no sense — luck for what, for the date? That would be so rude! — the words loosened an invisible weight around his neck.

He stared vacantly at the crosswalk sign flickering into a red figure standing still. He moved his feet robotically in the opposite direction.

After only two weeks, Kageyama had formed a crush on another contestant on nation-wide television made for finding true love with an amazing leading lady.

Kiyoko laughed a bit unsurely, looking up at him as they weaved in and out of pedestrian traffic on the sidewalk. "Are you okay?"

Not trusting himself to speak, he nodded.

Behind him, the producers were scrambling to keep up.

Despite feeling like the world was shaking under his feet in a perpetual earthquake targeting only him, his heart felt calm. He couldn't lie to himself anymore and that was freeing. He clutched Kunimi's parting "good luck" like it was an offered wish in a fairy tale and promised to come true. The semblance of control gave him courage.

They ended up settling into a quaint cafe near a canal noted for its wildlife; swans peacefully floated on top of the water as ducks dove again and again, sometimes successful, sometimes not.

"This was nice," Kiyoko told him as they split a cinnamon roll, the sunset painting her face a soft orange. Sharp shadows cut weird shapes on their skin. "You have some interesting friends, Tobio-kun," she noted casually.

There was a thornless rose spinning between her fingers and a thoughtful look in her eyes. She opened her mouth, leaning forward.

It was now or never. He almost wanted to be selfish; if she offered him the rose, he'd have another week with Hinata, another week with his cheerful smile and competitive games. But that wasn't fair, to _any_ of them, so it really wasn't a choice at all.

Kageyama eyed the cameras, and then, with all his determination, rested his hand on top of hers, the rose now held between them.

"I… can't," he whispered, his voice breaking, and he was very mindful of the microphone pinned to his shirt, another added weight on his chest. There was a pressure building behind his eyes but he forced himself to continue, "You're an amazing person, Kiyoko-san. But I _can't_."

She didn't look upset at the rejection, but that was only because surprise had frozen her features, even as her eyes shone with building confusion and concern.

He rushed to explain, "It's not because of Kindaichi or Kunimi or this date. I mean, not exactly. I just… something happened," he finished lamely, losing heat. "With me. I'm not ready."

The model let out a surprised laugh, and even that sounded elegant and beautiful. The confusion had cleared into clarity, and she squeezed his hand warmly. "I didn't expect I'd be getting the 'it's not you, it's me' routine during this process."

He panicked, waving his hands wildly because _no_ but she just laughed harder, doubling over as she snorted into her lap. After a moment, she raised her head, genuine mirth on her face. "It's okay, Tobio-kun. Thank you for letting me get to know you for this long."

She abandoned the rose on the table and reached over, taking his hand into hers, warm and soft. "Don't give up."

It was a riddle, but this one was meant to lift him up if he could solve it instead of tricking him.

"Stay in touch," she told him seriously, writing down her number on a napkin when they separated for different rides. He had to go back to the house, pack up his things, say goodbye to everyone. And then he would be getting in a limo headed for the airport to just… live his life.

It felt like he was ending a new chapter of his life that had only just begun.

* * *

It started out with the usual fluff: the producers did not, in fact, cut out the awkward silence when the group were all by the pool awaiting their ride. Unfortunately, they drew it out even worse: there were shots of different contestants, with their eyes moving between Kageyama and the leading lady in awkward amusement, and the music was the absolute worst, corny and stilted but still romantic enough to be on the show.

As the show continued, they only included two scenes of Kiyoko and Kageyama talking, holding hands as they walked around the old town, but it lacked any of the actual conversation, making the two seem very gawky and out of place.

Kageyama's phone vibrated and, grateful for the distraction, he immediately opened it.

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass)**_ _**:** What did you do to the producers to make them hate you so much?!_

_Nothing!_ He quickly texted back furiously, looking up through his eyelashes as the two of them stopped at the crosswalk, passing two tall volleyball teammates.

In real life, when Kindaichi and Kunimi had entered the picture, Kageyama and Kiyoko were already friendly and chatting amiably; the editing made it seem like it was still at the awkward, nervous part of their date.

 _**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _I don't believe you._

He didn't believe himself either, honestly, scowling at the television.

"Is that Kindaichi and Kunimi?" Suga asked, leaning closer to the screen. "Oh shit," he cursed, turning to look at Kageyama like he needed to be pinched.

He nodded, grimacing. Nope, not a dream.

" _I knew Kindaichi and Kunimi in middle school_ ," the on-screen Kageyama admitted to the confession camera, looking very unsettled as he shifted from foot to foot. His face was set in a cold, angry scowl as he glared down at his shoes. " _We were old teammates who had a falling out before graduation."_

"Oof, your thinking face looks scary," Suga-san bemoaned, peeking through his fingers like he was watching a horror movie.

The scene cut to show the four of them meeting each other, looking surprised and slightly horrified by the chance encounter. Kindaichi gave an uncomfortable glance at the cameras, but the focus was completely on the contestant's _(his)_ petrified, panicking face as he took everything in.

Oh, he had thought he'd hidden his horror pretty well, at the time.

" _...pretty date…_ " the spiky-haired man said under his breath, barely picked up by the mics. Luckily, or unluckily if you asked Kageyama, there were orange captions for the audience to read. " _I'm surprised—"_

Kunimi, still looking sleepy, even with the set of cameras and people behind him watching like a hawk, interrupted _too_ casually, " _So what've you been up to, Kageyama-kun? Are you an actor now?"_

"Nice save," Suga-san muttered, knowing exactly what the old volleyball player had been about to say on _nation-wide_ _television._

"I don't even remember Kindaichi saying any of that," he muttered, squinting at the screen. The wonders of technology. He peeked at his phone, but there wasn't a new message. Nervously, barely paying attention to the background noise of the show, he typed out:

_Pls don't hate me by the end of the episde_

And he sent it before he could erase it, his heart thundering in his ears, seeing only the black kanji contrasting starkly against the white background of the messenger app. There was no taking it back.

The response was immediate.

 _**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _(_ _゜ロ゜_ _)_

 _**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _I would never! (ʘ 言 ʘ╬) BAKAGEYAMA!_

 _**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _why tho? What did you do?_

His muscles loosened and there was a small smile flitting across his face. Dutifully, Kageyama started punching in an answer when another text came through, seconds after the previous one.

 _**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _no spoilers_

 _**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _but I coul d never hate u! (ΘεΘʃƪ)_

"Awwwww," Suga crooned and Kageyama turned his head to the television, wondering what had happened to invoke such a response. On the television, past-Kageyama and Kiyoko were splitting a cinnamon roll, and the music was jarring and disjointed, not the soft, melodious tone he was used to hearing for the one-on-one dates in previous episodes.

Confused, he turned back to his friend. Suga was staring back at him, his hazel eyes twinkling mischievously. Slowly, Kageyama looked back at the texts and, re-reading it, blushed a vibrant pink, all the way to his ears.

"You have a date next week, right?" Suga-san asked, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

He let him, instead thinking about his answer as he scooped up a bite of rainbow sprinkles. "I'm not sure it's a date, Suga-san. What if he just wants to meet up because we were, sort of, friends during filming?"

The counselor hummed noncommittally, but an eyebrow arched in slight disbelief. Yet true to form, he didn't give him an answer and instead said vaguely, "You should ask him, then."

Kageyama stared down at his phone, chewing his bottom lip. No. He'd see how the date... the _dinner_ went before doing anything rash.

* * *

The house was mostly empty and quiet when Kageyama returned. He heard voices — loud, excited, friendly — through the open window in the living room. The guys must have gathered by the pool, as was usual, while they awaited his return and gossiped about the date. There were a few men grabbing a refill of their chosen alcoholic drink when he passed the kitchen, trying to sneak upstairs without anyone seeing him.

One of the guys saw him almost immediately, and raised his bottle of beer in cheerful curiosity. "How'd it go, man?"

His friend's eyes zeroed in on his empty hands and he grimaced in kind commiseration. "Hey, there's still the rose ceremony, you're not out yet," he said. Except he was wrong: Kageyama was out.

Of his own volition.

"Right," he said, just to end the conversation there, and hurried up the stairs without looking back. They were probably going to go right out to the pool to share the latest news: the socially awkward PT in training failed to get a rose on his one-on-one date, oh the drama!

Normally, Kageyama was pretty fast at packing up; he was practical about what he brought, only the essentials and the occasional volleyball. But this time, he blew away his usual record, almost forgetting his toothbrush and shampoo in his haste to stuff everything into the suitcases, no need for organization of any kind.

He took the stairs two steps at a time, his suitcases trailing behind him with a bump-bump-bump of farewell.

The voices were still rowdy and animated as he lugged his things through the living room. He heard his name and stopped, rooted to the floor, a pressure building behind his eyes. He bit down his lip, forcing himself to keep moving.

"—Kageyama-kun!" Hinata yelled and Kageyama froze again, fearful but also almost… excited. But Hinata wasn't standing in front of him, his eyes on fire. Instead, the loud voice continued to shout out something unintelligible from the infinity pool.

And when his heart rate slowed down, the crises averted, Kageyama realized he couldn't face Hinata. Ripping off this band aid would only worsen the wound. So he picked up his pace and all but ran to the front door.

He couldn't face the pity goodbyes. Not from _him_.

"Wha— _Tobio-chan_?" Oikawa-san was standing in the hallway to the front door, half-way squished against the wall as he peered calculatingly through his designer eyeglasses with wide eyes, taking in Kageyama's expression and then the bags in his hand. His expression shifted from surprise to confusion. "What are you doing? Did you actually get sent home?"

He sounded disbelieving. Kageyama thought his old rival would have been happy to not have him stinking up the place anymore.

"Whatever," he said, shouldering past him, but Oikawa grabbed his shoulder — it stung, the old wound flaring up hotly — and pulled him back.

Kageyama lashed out, slapping away the hand with an anger he thought he'd gotten a handle on years ago.

Oikawa took a large step back, raising his hands placating, like Kageyama was a spooked animal. But instead of smirking or looking down his nose, Oikawa said, softly, like a ghost of breath on a cold day, "Aren't you going to say goodbye to everyone?"

"No."

Oikawa frowned then, looking familiarly disappointed — it was nothing new, but it still _hurt_ , goddamn it — before his mask reformed only to just… crack down the middle, gone in an instant, replaced by a look of genuine, exasperated care. Kageyama blinked rapidly, holding his breath at the sight.

"Tobio-chan, you're making a mistake." The actor rubbed his hair, messing up the meticulously styled curls as Kageyama _stared_ , "Just say goodbye. It'll be okay, I promise."

But even with this weird, new Oikawa looking back at him, so sincere, Kageyama couldn't put his heart through the blender again. Not this time.

"I can't. Goodbye and good luck, Oikawa-san." He bowed his head, hiding his expression. "Please tell Hinata and everyone else that I wish them the best."

He left Oikawa to stare at his back as he opened the door.

There was limo waiting for him out front, shiny and sleek, and he had a flashback to when he had first arrived. Except it wasn't Kiyoko that he pictured now, soft and elegant and kind, but a short redhead dancer full of a wild, raging fire as strong as twin suns.

He never saw Hinata rush to the window as he got into the ride, his adorable face squished against the glass as he fumbled to open the latch. Oikawa was by the dancer's side with his arms crossed over his chest, frowning severely. In silence, they watched the limousine drive off.

.

_tbc_

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looool, what a self-sacrificing idiot, omg. I mean, I know it turns out okay (obviously, because Hinata started texting him in like the second chapter haha) but STILL. Anyway, I'm not super happy with this chapter and rewrote it three different times. But I know, since I'm an avid reader of fanfics more than a writer, that any chapter is better than no chapter. So hopefully it's okay? If it sucks and you want me to rewrite it, I totally can! Just lemme know.


	6. will you accept this rose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a million pounds of sugar to make up for the last chapter.

* * *

" _And now, the ABC's... Bachelorette."_

* * *

There was a new episode of _The Bachelorette_ every Monday, but this was a week of firsts for Kageyama. For one, he wasn't going to be on the show at all, except maybe in passing mention as the candidate who quit early, and it felt really, really nice. For two, he had a dinner date with one of the candidates from the aforementioned show on Friday, and he didn't know how to feel about that, to be honest.

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):**_ _You have to promise not to laugh! (☼Д☼)_

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _BAKAGEYAMAAAAAAA ☜ (◉▂◉ ) _ _PINKY PROMISE ME!_

Kageyama snorted, eyeing the newest text while he hid his phone under the table so Suga couldn't peak over his shoulder like last time. He sent out an answer without thinking, wondering what Hinata could have possibly done to make him so off the walls nervous:

_I make no promises dumbass_

It was ten minutes until the newest episode aired and Hinata was blowing up his phone every three seconds, ranging from vague ranting about the episode's mysterious group date to random things that popped into his head to distract himself. The latest story was about how a guy named "Saltyshima" was torturing the dancer about the zombie shootout date and he was so done with him.

His phone lit up again.

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):**_ _LE GASP!_ _Wait, we should totally meet up and watch the show together! To make fun of everyone!_

Two seconds later:

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _and support our favorites too haha! BWAH!_

He was glad he didn't have to stress out (like Hinata right now heh) about the editing or convoluted storylines; it was pure entertainment, like it was meant to be.

"I invited Daichi and Asahi over, if that's okay?" Suga asked right by his ear, and Kageyama jumped, almost dropping his phone. Suga smirked and walked back to his spot on the couch with a quiet, mostly to himself, "I thought so."

Kageyama squinted at his back suspiciously, but then shook his head, letting it go. "Did they bring ice cream?" he asked hopefully, perking up.

"We have brownies in the fridge," Suga dismissed, flipping through the channels absentmindedly.

Kageyama frowned but went over the fridge anyway, eyeing the mushy chocolate dessert unhappily as he bent down to look through containers of old takeout dinners. He texted Hinata with one hand as he walked back to the couch, sipping on a glass of milk.

_Only if you bring ice cream_

_Vanilla_

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _YOU GOT IT!_

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass): ♡＾▽＾♡** _

Well that was easy.

Suga tossed him a blanket as he settled down on the corner of the couch, his feet tucked under him as he curled up like an oversized cat. Asahi and Daichi came in a few minutes later, letting themselves in after a polite knock of hello. The four of them shifted a bit, getting comfortable on the couch as they exchanged pleasant small talk and stretched out the fuzzy blankets to fit over everyone.

Kageyama laughed into hand when Daichi smacked Asahi's back, talking about something or another, and the taller man let out a devastatingly cute squeak at odds with his large build.

"You know what this episode is about?" Daichi asked him, turning his fatherly smile onto him as Suga snickered into his bowl of popcorn.

"Not a clue," he shrugged, looking over when his phone vibrated in time with the opening credits. But he absolutely couldn't wait to see what Hinata had gotten himself into this time.

" _And now, the ABC's... Bachelorette."_

There was the usual fanfare: dramatic confession camera takes about the latest drama in the house (mostly involving Oikawa, to be honest) before the group date card was revealed.

The camera focused on the card, pausing on the cursive font long enough for the audience to read " _we asked 100 single women what makes a good partner._.."

After an advertisement break, Kageyama realized why Hinata had been so freaked out.

The group date was a _Family Feud_ style game show, with two teams on opposite sides. Hinata, Terushima, and two others vs four men on the other team (the men's names were briefly mentioned, but Kageyama didn't care to remember them).

Kiyoko stood in the center as the host, holding a pile of thin cards to her chest. In front of her were two identical podiums with a raised, red buzzer. The game show was set up like this: Kiyoko would read out a question (i.e. "name something people are afraid of"), and the two men opposite the buzzers would slap the button. The quickest contestant would get to offer up his answer, and if it was the most popular answer on the board (meaning, out of the one-hundred people surveyed, most people responded similarly), that team would be able to choose to play the question out in its entirety by attempting to guess all of the answers one by one. Or, they could pass with the hope that the other team would fail and they could steal the win by guessing just one answer up on the board.

Hinata was so damn lucky Terushima was smart, because the dancer was a complete and utter trainwreck. Kageyama hadn't laughed this hard in forever, he was actually crying into his hands. All of his previous blunders on the show looked like child's play compared to this episode.

The question this round was " _name something that has fangs_ " and Terushima had won the first answer with " _vampire_." The other two contestants were also successful with their responses of snake and wolf. Hinata, however, was panicking, his brain unhelpfully blank as he puttered around fitfully, his cheeks glowing pink.

" _Um, uh,_ " he said, looking around for any kind of help. " _Spaghetti!_ " he shouted with the confidence of an idiot, just within the time limit. The chant of supportive "good answer, good answer" was tellingly absent as everyone took in the fact that someone had literally just said "spaghetti" with a straight face.

"Oh dear," Suga muttered, hiding his smile as Daichi and Asahi slowly turned to Kageyama with a raised eyebrow and a ' _this_ is your dinner date?' look.

Kageyama stifled a giggle, holding his phone in his hands as he texted Hinata with a small, pleased curl of his lips: _dumbass_.

The response was immediate: _(≧Д≦)_ _Bakageyama!_

A few other great moments included the time when Hinata was the one by the buzzer, his hand flat on the podium, tense with anticipation. His face looked serious, but the effect was ruined when the question was finished (" _name an Olympic sport you'd watch more often if it were played in the nude_ ") and Hinata yelled at the top of his lungs, practically body slamming the buzzer, " _VOLLEYBALL!_ "

Amazingly, it was the most popular choice, at twenty one responses, just barely beating gymnastics.

This time, Kageyama had to hide the full force of his own bright pink blush as Suga, Daichi, and Asahi burst into laughter and playful taunting.

It was when Kiyoko was re-reading off the question for the team - " _name a State/Territory that starts with the letter P_ " - and Hinata didn't bother deliberating for more than a second before nodding assuredly, " _Pluto_!" that Suga realized the two idiots were made for each other.

Because while Hinata looked so earnestly proud of himself on the television screen, Kageyama was shaking his head disappointedly, muttering, "Dumbass! Everyone knows Pluto isn't a thing anymore," with the same level of absurd conviction.

Daichi said quietly into Suga's ear as Kageyama gleefully stabbed at his phone, "This is either a really good thing or a really bad thing."

Asahi hummed faintly, smiling kindly down at Kageyama, who was too distracted with texting Hinata to notice, "It's a good thing," he promised them all, looking back at the television and the mess of the game show.

Suga was inclined to agree, because Kageyama's smile was like liquid gold, shining and pure, and he was happy for his friend, even if the two together were as smart as a pair of rocks.

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _༎ຶ‿༎ຶ_ _Meanie! How was I supposed to know that!_

_Maybe try to not be such a dumbass._

_**Hinata Shouyou (Dumbass):** _ _(_ _༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ_ _)_

Kageyama had never looked this happy. Suga prayed to all the gods that their date went well.

* * *

His health coach was really nice about letting him leave early on Friday, waving away his profuse bowing with a kind, and slightly depressing, response of "you've never asked for a day off since you started working here, go enjoy your date, Kageyama-kun."

"Dinner," Kageyama corrected, but his smile was uneven and wobbly as he tried to contain his excitement. He fiddled with his tie as he sat on the train, his mind going over the tips Suga-san had given him a week back about how to play it cool. He could do this!

"Um, excuse me," a petite blonde asked demurely about ten minutes into the ride, shyly playing with her short hair. A taller boy was standing next to her, looking uncomfortable as he stared out the window. They looked like high schoolers.

"Yes?" he asked, straightening up in his seat curiously, surprised by the interruption. He'd been told on multiple occasions his resting face looked… unapproachable, to say the least.

"May I have your autograph?" she squeaked, ducking her head. The boy next to her rested a hand on her back, pushing her forward a little in silent comradery. She seemed to gather strength from the contact. "I watched you on _The Bachelorette_! That is you, right? Um, Kageyama Tobio? You were really good with the zombies."

"Oh, yeah, that's me." He tried not to look so dumbfounded as he scribbled out a messy signature on the candy wrapper she tried to flatten for him, mumbling thanks over and over as she gushed about the show.

When he got off at the next stop, his face still looked a bit stupefied. He was a celebrity, what the hell? Albeit, not a very good one, but _still_. He took the escalator two steps at a time, wondering how this new development would affect their dinner date, if at all. Maybe he should ask Suga for advice.

Just as he was getting his phone out, a man selling flowers by the top of the stairs caught his eye. In a little red basket was a stretch of purple, pink, orange, and yellows in a mix of different varieties. The petals looked soft and healthy, invitingly open for the late afternoon sun, but Kageyama immediately knew which one he wanted, and he bought a bundle of sunflower-like 'gaillardias' before he could psych himself out of it.

He cradled the stems with both hands. The petals were two-toned, with gold-tipped orange daisies bursting outward, a blooming powerhouse of a flower. It was _perfect_.

When he arrived home, he immediately searched for a vase of water for his impulse buy. He set the bright orange, yellow-frosted flowers on the table as he chose an outfit. He had half an hour to get ready, giving him a remainder of thirty minutes for the commute to the diner. The train ride should only take twenty minutes, but Kageyama didn't want to be late.

In the end, he was twenty-five minutes early, awkwardly standing outside the small diner with a bouquet of sunny petals clutched to his chest. A few people gave him a weird, suspicious glance, and Kageyama embarrassedly started to think his idea of going incognito was actually a really, really bad idea. Despite the lack of a glare (the sun actually starting to set behind purple clouds as the streets lit up with welcoming paper lanterns), he was wearing shaded sunglasses, a hat that said HOLLYWOOD in English letters, and a dark purple-grey hoodie on top of that. It seemed like he was getting more attention now than if he had just dressed normally.

He should have called Suga-san before leaving, he berated himself, gnawing at his lip as he gently rubbed absentmindedly at one of the leaves. It was too late to go back and get changed, but he could at least get rid of the hat and sunglasses.

Just as he pulled back the hood, a small voice asked hesitatingly, with an amused lilt, "Kageyama-kun?"

He turned, a harsh red smeared across his cheeks as his heart skipped a beat.

Hiinata was standing in front of him, his hair a familiar mess of chaotic orange curls, his eyes a pretty, shining brown, his dimpled smile a beaming flash of white. The short dancer looked _beautiful_. Especially next to Kageyama right now, who looked like a homeless person. The other man smiled sheepishly, eyeing his outfit with some amount of confusion, and Kageyama did the same but without the confusion part.

The dancer was wearing a too-big orange jacket, framed with a white border, a comfortable black-and-white striped shirt, and a pair of very flattering skinny jeans. His hands were hidden behind his back as he leaned forward, repeating, "That is you, right? Kageyama?"

"Yes!" he shouted, and shoved the flowers at the other man. Hinata straightened up, his face shifting from confusion to surprise to something Kageyama couldn't read, but it was turning a familiar shade of flushed coral so it was probably okay.

"Oh my god," he muttered, and Kageyama had a moment to freak out (because what if this wasn't a date like everyone tried to assure him and he just gave flowers to a straight man and—) before Hinata thrust a bouquet of red roses at him from behind his back, the layers of petals soft to the touch.

"I hope it's not in bad taste, y'know," he rambled, pouting at his new gift of orange-yellow flowers.

"Thank you," Kageyama interrupted shyly into the flowers, his heart hammering in his chest, and Hinata blinked three times in rapid succession.

"Wait, pass them back," he ordered, and Kageyama obeyed without thinking about it. Hinata delicately set the flowers against the wall of the store, so they were now both empty handed.

"Wha—?" Kageyama started to say, and then he had a handful of Hinata pushing against him in the warmest, roughest hug he could remember.

Hinata was sobbing messily into his sweatshirt and Kageyama panickedly started petting his hair, mumbling soothing words of "um, it's okay, you're okay?"

"I missed you so much!" he shouted into his chest, his eyes hidden in the dark fabric, "How could you leave without saying goodbye, stupid! You're so stupid! _BAKAGEYAMA_!"

Kageyama flushed to the tip of his ears, resting his chin on top of Hinata's silky curls, his own eyes starting to water. "I'm sorry," he said, and his voice cracked tellingly. Hinata sniffled, his hands loosening into a less suffocating hug, but he still didn't let go.

"I forgive you," he whispered. Kageyama bit his lip to stop himself from smiling, but at that moment, Hinata peered up at him, with those big, innocent eyes, and he couldn't fight the grin as he raised his head to look down. The dancer giggled, removing an arm to poke him on the nose, adding vocally, "bop."

A group of young people passing on the sidewalk looked over and met Kageyama's eye, easily jumping to the flowers next to their shoes. The shortest one of them - a girl with headphones around her shoulder and ripped jeans - gave him a thumbs up. They should probably go inside, he realized.

"One more second," Hinata whined and then _squeezed_ , like he wanted to strangle the taller man, almost lifting him off the ground as the dancer leaned back. "I missed you," he repeated.

"Me too," Kageyama answered, squeezing lightly back.

And it was true. He had missed the wild dancer, more than he'd expected now that the other man was right in front of him, warm and soft and smelling pleasantly like cinnamon and vanilla.

"Thank you for the flowers," Hinata said right when Kageyama mumbled, "Thanks for inviting me out."

"Oh," Kageyama said, and Hinata blushed, but his smile widened anyway, not one to be deterred.

"We should go inside."

"Right."

Their dinner date was nothing like the dates either of them had when they were filming for the reality TV show. Without the stressors of cameras detailing every misstep or awkward stumble, the two felt free to be themselves. And though Kageyama was nervous, so was Hinata. They were on equal footing here, but it barely mattered anyway, since the two had already gotten to know each other for two weeks many months prior.

It felt like meeting an old friend. The food was delicious, the shared and teasing jokes were fun and lighthearted, and it was an altogether amazing night. They spent hours chatting over steaming pork curry, reminiscing over the shared time in the mansion but also their life outside of the reality television show. Hinata was (to his surprise and growing hopefulness) considering moving closer to where Kageyama lived, actually — only a half hour train ride to his apartment — due to a new job offer in the area where he could not only perform on stage but also teach new dancers.

"I'm great with kids," Hinata told him, offensively pointing a chopstick at him like he was getting ready to defend himself, but Kageyama just nodded encouragingly. Hinata would be amazing!

In turn, he mentioned his own ambition to return to school to get a masters in physical therapy and eventually start his own practice. "I like where I work now," he told Hinata cautiously, but continued, admitting, "But it would be nice to be able to choose from a more variety of treatment philosophies and have a more intimate relationship with the clients."

"That's so nice," Hinata agreed, leaning forward to hold his hand. Kageyama squeezed back, smiling down at him.

His heart felt like it weighed less than a flower petal.

"Why are you crying?!" Hinata caught himself from yelling, but he did whisper-shout right in Kageyama's face, peering up at him with big eyes, "What's wrong?! Are you okay? Whatever I said, I'm sorry!"

"Shut up!" Kageyama hissed, sobbing harder as he hid his face in his elbow. Hinata tugged at his arm like a confused child.

And then Hinata pushed him off his chair, and he toppled the ground with surprised yelp, sniffling from the ground. An angry red was spreading across his cheeks and he stopped crying in astonishment. "What the hell?!"

"Stop crying!" Hinata ordered, as big fat tears rolled down his own face. He stuttered out, "You're making me cry too! So stop it!"

"Fine!" Kageyama yelled, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other customers.

"Fine!" Hinata repeated, and then he just folded in half, laughing and snorting into his lap, and Kageyama joined him shortly thereafter, clutching helplessly at his shoulder as he gasped for breath.

Five minutes later, they were standing outside on the sidewalk, their pair of flowers held in their open hand. The door slammed shut behind them.

"Dumbass," Kageyama said absently, smiling at nothing and everything, and Hinata squeezed his hand, giggling. "Look at what you did! Their pork curry was so good, and now we're banned forever."

"I regret nothing," Hinata said, and then he reached up, curled a hand around Kageyama's neck, and lifted himself up to his tip-toes. Kageyama dutifully bent down, an arm snaking around the dancer's waist, and their lips connected in a burst of warm heat.

After a minute, Hinata leaned back, breathing heavily and fighting back a flush. Kageyama didn't even bother trying to hide his red face. "I really like you," Hinata confessed, ducking his chin into the sunny blossoms.

Kageyama, practically drunk on happiness, gently removed one of the roses from the bouquet and held it out teasingly, "Will you accept this rose, Shouyou?"

Hinata laughed like chiming bells, gently taking the woody perennial, his fingers warm as they brushed together. "Absolutely, Tobio!"

They separated at the train station, the crescent moon smiling down at them, with their next date already set up: they were going to get takeout and watch the next episode of _The Bachelorette_ together.

"Don't forget the ice cream, dumbass!" Kageyama shouted at his new boyfriend's back. Hinata threw up a thumbs up and a blinding smile.

"You got it, Bakageyama!"

That had gone so well. Kageyama stared at his clump of red roses with a wobbly grin.

* * *

Hinata got along with Suga, Daichi, and Asahi like a lost friend, and Kageyama was slightly jealous but also so immensely proud and happy that everyone got along. True to form, Suga had made sure both Daichi and Asahi briefly crashed his date like proud parents (and one scary looking but actually marshmallow-soft 'Uncle'). Hinata was all for meeting Kageyama's friends, practically bouncing off the walls of the small apartment as Suga unashamedly embarassed the taller man.

"Get out, go," he finally said, flapping his hands at them with a high blush, trying to hide his face from everyone after the latest story.

"We're going, we're going," Daichi allowed, smiling sweetly at the pair, tugging at his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Don't do anything we wouldn't do!" Suga said in parting, as Daichi said, "Be safe!" and Asahi shyly mumbled, "Have fun!"

Then the door was shutting and it was just the two of them, their tub of vanilla ice cream, and the opening title of the reality TV show.

It was so _fun_. Hinata made constant jokes about the other men, mostly Oikawa-san and his stupid pretty face, as they curled up together under a fuzzy blanket on the couch. Kageyama tucked himself into the smaller man, feeling at peace as Hinata snuggled closer to him, practically cocooning his side in warmth.

The episode included a cool one-on-one date (featuring Oikawa and zero-gravity flight, who got way too into it as he ranted about space to an interested Kiyoko). There was also the group date (a flash mob) that went as well as they expected: aka, not at all. Then, it was time for the rose ceremony, and Kageyama found Hinata's hand, needing that warm weight in his hands.

He never did ask the other man how long he remained on the show. On the screen was an ill-timed ad break, and he wondered worriedly if Hinata had actually made it pretty far in the series.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it," Hinata said slowly, looking up through his eyelashes with shining eyes.

Kageyama relaxed, slumping back down, trusting him, and Hinata sighed lightly, smiling sweetly. "Just watch."

The rose ceremony was the usual mess of drama between the men. The cocktail party took up most of the time before the ceremony, as men tried to fight over private time with the leading lady. On the screen, Hinata was nervously tugging at a blue hoodie as he tried to interrupt a conversation to talk to the model, and Kageyama narrowed his eyes.

"That jacket," he muttered to himself, but amazingly, Hinata understood anyway.

"Yeah, I was feeling really homesick," he confessed sadly, but he was still smiling up at him, "I started crying after dinner and Noya tried to cheer me up. It didn't help that my friend left without saying goodbye, though!" Kageyama ducked his head but Hinata just giggled over his ashamed apologies. "I can't believe they used that scene in the zombie episode."

The relief was short lived, because then the screen was showing Hinata talking to Kiyoko, both of them looking so cute next to each other, like a real couple. They talked about their nerves, and Hinata admitted he felt bad about his group date that week as Kiyoko tried to assure him blunders happened.

"Makes sense, they're not going to air it," Hinata mumbled, not making sense, as he shuffled an arm out of the blanket to find the remote. He muted the television without asking, but Kageyama didn't care, his attention focused solely on the short dancer. "I asked Kiyoko to not give me a rose."

Kageyama blinked, his brain freezing up. What?

Hinata poked his forehead, smiling softly. "I didn't want to refuse a rose, like _someone_ , cause I do really like Kiyoko! She's so pretty and nice and I didn't want to make it seem like she was bad or something stupid like that. It's just, you were… better."

What.

"What?" he managed.

Kageyama tightened his grip on Hinata's hand as he continued to say really nice things, "She promised to not give me a rose and wished me luck. She actually offered to give me your number!"

His jaw dropped in surprise but Hinata went on carelessly, "But Oikawa had already given it to me, so I didn't really need it."

"—Wait, what, hold on a second here," Kageyama interrupted, flapping a hand in front of his face. "What?" he summed up.

Hinata laughed again, bending back into his side as his fluffy curls hid his expression. "You're so dumb," he whispered, so endearingly fond.

Kageyama couldn't find it in himself to get mad. The rose ceremony played out in front of them, with dramatic music and all, but past-Hinata on the television screen was biting his lips, looking like he was fighting down a smile as his name didn't get called, and everything felt so _right_.

Maybe he did regret his first debut on the reality TV show, but in no way did he regret the experience of meeting Hinata, villain edits and all.

* * *

_A couple months later..._

* * *

"You ready?" Kageyama asked, nervously pulling at the sleeves of his suit as Hinata finished fixing his messy hair. It looked the same it always did to Kageyama, but Hinata assured him it was " _artfully styled_."

"You just got that from Oikawa," he sniped back quietly, keeping his voice low so the narcissistic actor wouldn't be able to hear him and gloat nonstop.

"Shut up!" Hinata complained, crossing his arms but not denying it.

They shared a look, trying to ignore the bustling people manning cameras back and forth and the frantic boom operators fixing last minute set ups. Behind and in front of them were a few of the other contestants, including those who had left earlier and later.

Faintly, they could hear Oikawa complaining about not having enough time to fix his hair.

"This is our last episode, you know," Hinata said, slipping a warm hand into his.

Kageyama grinned. "Let's blow them away."

On the stage, the reality TV show host was talking quietly with the elegant leading lady, the audience seats empty and ready to be filled. A frazzled stagehand hurried over then, and motioned for the group to file out onto the stage.

"Time for the _Men Tell All_ episode."

Hinata snuck a quick kiss to Kageyama's knuckles, and in turn he ruffled Hinata's "artfully styled" hair, much to the little dancer's outraged dismay. They could handle anything. Together.

_._

_fin_

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! This is the first multi-chaptered story I've actually finished, so I'm stupidly proud of myself right now. I hope everyone had fun with this, and thanks for all your kind words and support!


End file.
